Last time we looked at the visual language that energy drinks and book covers share. This time I wanted to talk about blurbs and promises they make, based on the blurbs from two of the cans from those shelves I was looking at: one can marketing to women, the other primarily to men. I’ve quoted them below, preserving the punctuation as it is on the cans.

The blurb from one can:

The blurb from the other:

Based on everything from the verbiage to the punctuation (or lack thereof) these blurbs are selling us something.  A book blurb is not only a summary of what you might expect inside it (please, never a full plot summary in a blurb!) but selling you on the goal of the book and the feels you can expect to have while reading. The contents of the drinks parallel the content of the book, in a way when looked at from a marketing standpoint.

Let’s look at what we see with these two blurbs.

Recess

• Tone: Soft, gentle, nurturing.
• Key words: unwind, sparkling, magnesium, adaptogens, no fake stuff, “that place where you want to be.”
• Punctuation: Lowercase, flowing, almost poetic. No hard stops.
• Promise: Escape, restoration, gentle self-care. It’s selling relief and permission to relax.

Jocko

• Tone: Hard, declarative, tribal.
• Key words: Clean fuel, Built Different, don’t take short-cuts, do not quit, mission, disciplined.
• Punctuation: Short. Punchy. Periods. No commas in places where you’d expect them so it feels like barked orders.
• Promise: Strength, identity, belonging to an elite group of grinders. It’s selling purpose and superiority.

These are masterclasses in matching voice to audience which is exactly what good book blurbs do.

So? what would these look like reimagined as books?

“Recess” style (romance, cozy mystery, women’s fiction):
Example: “In a quiet coastal town, a burned-out executive finds herself renovating a crumbling cottage — and her entire life — with the help of a grumpy but surprisingly tender local. Warm, hopeful, and gently humorous, this story is a love letter to second chances and the healing power of slowing down.”

“Jocko” style (military thriller, gritty urban fantasy, motivational fiction):
Example: “They told him the mission was impossible. He didn’t listen. When a black-ops team is betrayed behind enemy lines, only one man refuses to quit. No shortcuts. No surrender. This is what victory feels like.”

A great blurb sells the emotional payoff of the book, appeals to the identity the reader wants to take on through the borrowed experience of a fiction story. The blurb answers the question the readers are subconsciously asking: how will this book make me feel?

When writing the blurb, take care to match the tone and rhythm to the readers who will enjoy your book, setting up their expectations of what they will find in the story through your punctuation as well as word choices. Make a promise of what the reader is going to find, tease them with the sensations the book is going to bring to mind while they are reading, never use plot regurgitation in the blurb. That’s as bad for marketing a book as that word sounds. Reading the blurb out loud will help a lot with nailing the sound you want it to have in the reader’s head when they are looking at your book’s description or back cover.

Paying attention to what these cans are really selling, not the ingredients, but the feeling and the identity they promise, has sharpened the way I look at book blurbs. A good blurb never just summarizes the plot. It makes a promise: this is how you’ll feel, this is who you’ll become for a little while, this is the emotional ride waiting for you once you crack the cover. Whether it’s soft permission to unwind or a hard call to discipline and mission, the best blurbs speak directly to the reader’s desired self.

Next time you’re standing in the grocery aisle (or any store), read the drink cans with new eyes. Then go home and look at your own blurb with the same honesty. Does it whisper the right promise in the right voice? Because in the end, the visual story on the cover and the verbal story on the back have one job: to make the right reader stop, feel seen, and reach for your book instead of the one beside it.