Kate the Impaler, having finally arrived at the magical realm of Choo Choo has learned that the reputation of the land makes promises the place itself is unable to meet. Still, she has a wedding to attend on pain of unspecified horrible consequences, and after that a convention to enjoy. She thinks…
And it came to pass that upon the appointed hour of eight, when the sun was due to set and the wedding party did hope that the setting of the sun would begin to reduce the heat of Choo Choo – which, it must be said, was not unseasonal, but many guests, including Kate the Impaler, had traveled from less heated climes for the occasion and were finding the heat… difficult – the warrior maiden Kate the Impaler did venture forth from the stale – if cool – air of the palace to the formal gardens, wherein the nuptuals were to be held.
Great was her relief when the Redhead of Doom did plight her troth unto the Evil Muse without evil omen, and greater still her joy when the Beautiful But Evil Space Princess did renew her vows to her beloved Mathematician with nary a sign of displeasure from the gathered crowds.
That the celebrations following upon the happy even were somewhat muted was, in the eyes of the weary warrior, to be expected, for the gage of heat did read near dragonfire levels though the sun’s fiery gaze had fallen beneath the horizon. Thus, wearied from her long day and longing for rest, did Kate the Impaler excuse herself from the celebratory dinner and take herself to the stale – but blissfully cool – air of her suite within the palace of Choo Choo.
And there did she sleep, waking upon the morn in a less fragile temper.
Ere long, the warrior maiden did array herself for recreation and make her way unto the palace refectory, wherein she joined with the Redhead of Doom and her family and others of her friends (Sorry, I can’t remember all of you, much less what kind of titles you all want) to break their fasts. And lo! Though the buffet tables of the refectory were of limited range and quality, they did provide sufficient for Kate the Impaler to vanquish her hunger – yet did she have to conceal dismay for what eating establishment of quality does charge its guests for a refill of orange juice?
Upon departure, Kate the Impaler did speak with the Beautiful But Evil Space Princess and the Mathematician, apprising them of recent events in her homeland while enjoying their company. It was a respite all too short, for – as befits a Beautiful But Evil Space Princess – there were many desiring the Lady Sarah’s presence and limited time in which all might enjoy said presence, for alas! The programming director in a fit of insanity (or possibly evil) had scheduled the Lady Sarah for all but a handful of time slots.
Let it be known at this point that even should a guest take leave of all senses and request to be involved in events in all time slots, no director of programming worthy of the title will actually schedule said guest in such a fashion. That all shall know the pusillanimous cruelty of the programming it shall be listed herein (and one must remember that the Beautiful But Evil Space Princess and the Mathematician do make of themselves a unit: if one is programmed, so to is the other, no matter what the Book of Schedule doth decree).
Thusly did the Lady Sarah and her noble Husband be scheduled on this day:
4 PM What’s new in Space Opera
5 PM Opening Ceremony
6 PM Keeping Track of your Money
7 PM Short Stories or Novels, Indie?
10 PM Social Justice for the Undead
Lest the noble reader believe they did have a break between the hours of eight and ten, during this time frame the Lady Cedar, the Redhead of Doom, did host a party with the Evil Muse and the Lady Sarah and her Lord Husband were among the guests of honor.
Thus, though they did present with admirable skill, they did express their displeasure, and great was Kate the Impaler’s sympathy – until the hour grew late and she sought to remain awake that she could enjoy the thoughts of the Beautiful But Evil Space Princess upon that most important of topics, Social Justice for the Undead.
And so, when the appointed hour did arrive, the warrior maiden did seat herself quietly within the chosen venue, wherein she had little time to rest, for upon the arrival of the Lady Sarah, she did be dragged (metaphorically) unto the stage and did join the proceedings – though assuredly she was too wearied to fully participate, most especially with Mad Mike waxing eloquent upon the needs of Assembled Americans and which bathrooms they might prefer to employ.
With much goodwill did the panel proceed, though it must be said that perhaps it might be advisable that the Beautiful But Evil Space Princess’s Elder Spawn not be permitted to practice medicine with the Evil Penguin, for the question of whether one should bring cadavers home to meet one’s parents prior to dissection is perhaps one best not contemplated on an empty stomach. Or, for that matter, a full one.
And so it was that with the ending of the panel, Kate the Impaler did stumble towards the refuge of her suite, wherein she might rest ere the truly epic scheduling of the Lady Sarah’s panels upon the morrow.
To be continued