When coffee is not enough, then what?

This year, man. This year. The upside is that the medical event looming over my husband and by extension, me, is past and went better than anyone expected. The downside is that the stress over the last couple of months has done things to me that I’m struggling to cope with.

There’s only so much coffee I can consume before my heart starts turning somersaults and that’s really uncomfortable. So. What to do when the brain fog isn’t lifting? Well, there’s also only so much sleeping can be done. And only so much brain candy reading. And…

You get the idea, I think. Right at the moment I’m pantsing an essay. When I’ve put a finish to this I’m going to the studio to cut and mat some paintings because I have a show in a few hours and I’ve been too out of it to prep for that. Writing… maybe tomorrow? Maybe tonight if I’m not too worn out from the event today. Maybe Monday.

In the run-up to the medical adventures, one of the things that came up was ‘can’t put this on plastic, there’s a daily withdrawal amount.’ Which was fun, because that meant a very large cash transaction, large enough I thought the bank might hassle us because government overreach. Ahem. Anyway. It’s been on my mind, and I’ve come to realize that my body has a daily withdrawal amount, too. Can’t call and have the bank (brain?) adjust it upwards, can I? Well, I can. Sort of. For a while. If I exercise, to bleed off cortisol, and eat well, and do the things like drinking the water (and not too much coffee) and sleeping enough, then I can endure more. At some point, though, you just max it all out and you’re overdrawn and the body keeps score. The brain kicks a fit, and suddenly you are down, hard, for a rest in the most uncomfortable possible way. I don’t recommend this. I really don’t. Unfortunately, I also can’t say ‘oh, do this…’ because reader, I thought I was doing the right things.

There is only so much stress you can remove from your life. Sometimes there are things you just can’t get away from. Taking care of your family, of work, of the house… all those must come out as withdrawals on your daily capacity. When you don’t have enough in your banked energy to supply these, what do you do?

Seriously. I feel like I’m drowning, here.