A week has gone by. A full, full week. A week in which Dave got to be Dave much more than Daddy. It was weird, and I’m still processing. I think I want to do that more often, though probably not *too* often. I’d spend all my time transitioning from one state to the other, and then back. Sounds exhausting, and I suspect would severely impact my production.
SPEAKING OF WHICH. I was fortunate enough to be kicked out of the house for the weekend by Mrs. Dave. She said, “go play with adults and have adulty conversation.” So I did. LTUE happened over the course of that time, and I had the chance to crash somewhere I wouldn’t have to pay cash monies to occupy, which significantly reduced the outlay for a convention weekend. If you have the means…
It was a good weekend. I was able to spend adult time with adult people, and without attention divided by non-adult people. An unusual thing in Dave’s recent experience. There was a fairly epic CAH game one evening. Whiskey and tequila may have been consumed. I was fortunate enough to spend a goodly amount of the weekend in the company of a co-author, and we hammered out a few more details on our shared project. I got to see friends I have not seen for a year, and we shared salt and time. It was good.
I actually *cough* ghosted the convention. It is increasingly more important for me to spend time with the people at conventions, without being caught up in the convention itself. I’d be happy being a panelist, but attending panels as an audience member leaves me feeling like I could better spend my time. So I did. (As an aside, I’m looking forward to landing somewhere for more than a few years, and being able to build a sufficient routine to be able to tell a convention: “yes, I’ll be there next year.” I’m not able to do that, right now, and it grates.)
One thing that became markedly clear to me is that I need to ramp up the word production, such that I’m getting several books out the door every year. Possibly even several each quarter. Now, that’s a long-term goal. For the immediate term, I’m going to be working to use my understand of human psychology in general, and my own questionable psyche in particular, to alter the way I do things. I plan to use the ability to trigger neurotransmitter release to increase self-confidence such that depressive episodes (like two weekends ago, where I spent hours staring at the ceiling in a concerted – and ultimately effective – effort to convince myself not to quit writing) are less frequent, and less severe, and writing becomes easier. There are ways, many of which may appear to be “hacks” (an overused term), but are actually tools to put in the writing toolbox.
I firmly suspect, however, that what it’s going to come down to, at base, is an effort of will. The best things in my life have come about because I spent time in focused introspection, and then made a choice and stuck to it. I found a mental switch, and then flipped it, and it changed my life for the better. I haven’t yet had the time to do that, but I’m a-gonna. Stay tuned.
Oh, I’ll have more fiction for you soon.