What was that?

I read. Widely, or rather obsessively. If there’s printed words, there’s a fair chance I’ve read them or attempted to read them (the vision isn’t so good these days, so the really small print goes unread). I don’t dare keep books in the loo because if I did I’d never leave and I’d have a permanent imprint of the toilet seat on my butt.

Yeah, one of those readers.

Which means that on my intermittent trawls through the internet, I can encounter some real doozies. One of which I ran into today. I’m not linking to it or anything else, because the unfortunate soul responsible probably hasn’t done worse than believe someone’s bull – judging by the quality of what passes for reasoning in the post, this person is not capable of distinguishing between fact, wish-fulfilment, and bigotry masquerading as some kind of enablement.

This fellow’s little tirade effectively claims that persons of pallor are aliens who arrived on the planet some 6500 years ago and proceeded to steal everything they could from the native persons of darkitude. And that this happened in Europe, of all places. Oh, and all of Europe’s wealth came from stealing from and killing the original (black) inhabitants.

Uh, right…

Best I can tell, humans of all shades enthusiastically tried to kill each other off for many, many thousands of years. And the last I heard, homo sapiens neanderthalensis (if my spelling is right) got it on with homo sapiens sapiens all through Europe to produce the modern European look. More or less.

Of course, this kind of “people of X are evil and tried to destroy my people” nonsense leaves out a lot of ugly truths. Things like slavery and slaughter being the norm for a long, long time. Things like Europe’s combination of just enough broken up terrain to allow decently large tribes to stake a claim and beat off the rivals plus just enough ease of travel particularly east-west (meaning that plants and animals suited to the region didn’t change that much over distance – allowing innovations to spread far and fast) giving said tribes enough of a combination of protection and trade to avoid being annihilated by the neighbors, while making it difficult for any one group to take over the whole mess.

It also ignores that in every region with less interesting terrain, there was a lot more of the strongest group taking over and building a much larger monoculture (China comes to mind, what with the place having been an empire for hundreds of years). That or the nature of the land didn’t make it easy to either host enough people for that (Australia) or was so interesting that travel and trade was too challenging (New Guinea mountains).

Accident, in other words. As for the idea that Europe’s original inhabitants were people of darkitude, the less said about that one, the better. Not only have there been numerous verifiable settlements complete with burial artifacts, remains and so on going back to the flipping ice ages, there’s been so many migrations that nobody really knows who came from where originally.

Of course, this crazy conspiracy of the eeeebil people of pallor mysteriously showing up a few thousand years back and slaughtering their way to prosperity (seriously? I thought that was how it was supposed to work) would make a fun kind of alternate history married to conspiracy theory. You could theorize entire lines of pre-historical cosmetics to disguise the tell-tale darkitude of your protagonists as they struggle against the eeebil people of pallor and try to build the ancient paradise of harmony and love that certain folk seem to think must have existed (I don’t believe in such things. Nature can be breathtakingly beautiful, but life without a lot of technology tends to be nasty, brutish, and short).

Maybe I shouldn’t read quite so much. Apparently stupid on Quora (on a question about the accuracy of high school history texts, no less) is enough to send me off on a rant.

38 comments

  1. This does make me wonder who is the bigger idiot: the person who created this “theory” or the people who believe it?

    1. This is propaganda, not stupidity. They’re trying to whip up an insurrection followed by genocide.

      Where the stupid comes in is they think they’ll come out on top. They never read the history of the French Revolution. Or the Russian Revolution, the Chinese Revolution, et cetera.

      1. Clearly, those other people didn’t do it right! This time, we’ll get it right, and we’ll be on top (then they all fall down! WHOOPS!)

  2. “…judging by the quality of what passes for reasoning in the post, this person is not capable of distinguishing between fact, wish-fulfilment, and bigotry masquerading as some kind of enablement.”

    There’s a lot of that going around these days. The same people who would laugh at the theory that the world was created 6500 years ago will totally go for this one, that the White Race are space aliens.

    We know they’ll go for it based on Germany in the 1930s. A little flattery and a visible scapegoat to blame all your troubles on, its a powerful mix. The Germans went for that shit like a trout jumping for a fly.

    I do think they’ll find the White Race a bit more troublesome than the Germans found the Jews though. Most of what is said about the White Race being a bunch of violent barbarian a-holes is true. Certainly if my case is an indication. >:D

    1. Well, yes. Violent barbarian a-holes who have mostly learned the value of restraint and use it. Rivers of blood are all well and good until you have to get it out of your clothes.

      1. Right? Restraint at a personal level is one of the most powerful things we White Devils ever invented. Deferred gratification, dedication to an ideal, the Protestant Work Ethic, Common Decency, a constellation of techniques that make it possible for wildly violent berserkers to work together and get stuff done.

        Also made it possible for us to make the biggest and best rivers of blood -ever- due to that other really amazing White Devil invention, nuclear fusion.

        1. Restraint is just how you conspire against the rest of the world. By not stealing, cheating, and slacking whenever you can, you make a society so strong it is richer than everyone else.

          1. Yeah, the rivers are outside the center where everything is just gone. More in the “no stone left standing” zone.

            In between is the “pink mist” zone.

            The best part of writing your own book is being able do stuff like that to things you don’t like. I’ve never liked Cthulhu. I always thought there ought to be comeuppance for being that big a dick.

            Q) What happens to a flying squid when it has a fusion bomb you can point touched off at point blank range into its face?

            A) Squid vapor that glows for 100 years.

            The moral of the story is, don’t be a flying squid. ~:D

    2. We know some people will go for it, but ‘they’ is not a precise term, and some of the groups it might mean could well not go for it.

      Sure, the population, historical, biological, and economic models that fit this are fairly standard among the left, and among the young woke school children. That does not mean that they will be taken uncritically by others.

      Thing about the Jews, and the other populations involved, whether German, French, etc? Lot of non-Jewish locals, very few Jews. Trying to kill the Jews was not something that the locals would have reason to punish for fear of inspiring a retaliatory massacre.

      The junkies are stupid and suicidal enough that they would take this at face value, and act on it.

      Mexicans and Blacks are not separately or together a majority of the American population. There are a lot more risks for them in trying that sort of idiocy than there were for the Germans. We can tell that there are wiser and more cautious minds in those communities. Otherwise they would have gone all in when Obama was trying to make that stuff happen. We know that it that they didn’t go all in, because otherwise the supporters of violent white supremacism would have had much more propaganda fodder, and we might well have had an actual white supremacist President instead of Trump.

      Shaun King is himself a strong argument that American blacks are a good bit wiser than media impressions would suggest. Needing to recruit a white guy to do that work means that the proportion of the viciously dishonest is not so high among blacks that there were any to spare. If the rates were exactly the same across the demographics, we would expect greater numbers of whites to result in greater numbers of idiots with bad character.

      You’d need to bring over a lot of foreigners illegally, or give foreign criminal conspiracies, militaries, or terrorists a lot of a free hand, to get the necessary confident idiocy.

      Convincing white people that they are vicious space aliens, without any common humanity, is not a wise thing to do if you are not white.

      1. “Mexicans and Blacks are not separately or together a majority of the American population. There are a lot more risks for them in trying that sort of idiocy than there were for the Germans.”

        I didn’t mean to imply it was a -good- idea… >:D

    3. The Jews as Scapegoats was never far from the German consciousness, even in the supposedly more enlightened 19th Century, and anti-Semitism was policy in the new Prussian led German Empire.
      Which led to an interesting, but sad bit of post WWI propaganda. Jews were mostly kept out of the Wehrmacht before the war, and then were roundly criticized after for not taking part.

      1. Looking at European history pre/post WWI is an exercise in self flagelation. The sheer stupidity of the ruling class was unbelievable.

        Witness that the very next big thing to come along was Communism and Fascism, two of the stupidest things ever in history. Even a dumbass like Hitler or a grifter like Lenin looked good after being ruled by Kaiser Wilhelm II or Tzar Nikolas Romanov.

        1. In their defense, Statism of various flavors was sold as a mix of one part “Scientific System of The Future!”, and another part “Old Fashioned National Awesomeness, Just Like Tsar Pete/ King Freddy/ Julie Caesar Used to Do!”.
          ‘Together, boys, we’re guaranteed to be rulin’ the world!’

          It was a total scam, but it played well with the dupes & intellectuals.

          1. And it filled an emotional need. That’s one thing I find so impressive and scary about the best Nazi propaganda – it resonates. If you know much about German culture and history, you can see how well it hit certain cultural and emotional buttons. I’m not as familiar with Fascist or Falangist propaganda, but I wager it has the same properties, when done well.

            1. It’s especially dangerous when the listener is also being told that he has “privilege” when the listener knows that he doesn’t have “privilege”. 😦

            2. Triumph of the Will, watched as a movie, is amazing. If you allow yourself to forget the history, you will be moved. Hitler was surrounded by the most talented edgy artists in Germany at the time, and they knew how to put on an event.

              Of course later on you will remember the history of what came later. Then you will want to barf.

              There should be high school courses on propaganda techniques throughout history. Self defense and mental hygiene for the kids.

  3. So if whites are “aliens who arrived on this planet some 6500 years ago,” does anyone know where our ancestors parked the space ships? I think it might be about time to move on and see about finding another planet…

    1. It does seem to be getting kind of run down, doesn’t it? Maybe it’s time to count the planet as a failed urban renewal project and move on to fresher pastures – if we can find the spaceship parking, anyway.

      1. 1. Invade Canada.
        2. Exterminate First Nations.

        I had inspiration for a much more outlandish explanation along those lines, but, sadly, have had much too much of a headache to fill things out.

        1. 1) Invade Canada

          Good luck with that, its -5 Fahrenheit today. Remember what happened to Napoleon in Russia? It’ll be like that. I won’t even have to leave my igloo, y’all will freeze to death on your own.

          2) Exterminate First Nations

          Again, good luck with that. They survived Smallpox, whiskey and television, I doubt an army will kill them.

          1. Sometimes? 🙂

            There’s some gaps in prehistoric knowledge that could be explained by ancient astronauts mining copper in North America, and leaving it in Europe.

            So if our space aliens settled in Europe, there’s a remote chance the space ships are in North America.

            Why haven’t they been found?

            A wizard did it.

            As for Canadians/indians, that sort of boring choice is typical of the mad conspiracy theory genre. Personal obsession to personal obsession, in a straight line without deviation or creativity.

            Big hole in this crud is ‘why settle in Europe at stone or bronze age tech level if you ever had even semi salvageable spaceships?’ We aren’t searching for sub surface hangers of spaceships, and hence could easily miss something that we could learn some of the physics and engineering from. If we are talking spaceships ready to use, why did whoever left them put in that level of effort? What is their motivation?

            Have that motivation, and you can tell an interesting story.

            I think I owe something to everyone here. I apologize for all this crap in response to a ‘spaceships are cool’ comment chain. It was not appropriate. I hope I will be better at shutting up in such circumstances in the future.

            1. ‘why settle in Europe at stone or bronze age tech level if you ever had even semi salvageable spaceships?’

              Why Not?

              The revamped Battlestar Galatica ended with finding Earth and everybody leaving their spaceships & technology behind. 😈

          2. The invasion force will wait until it warms up a bit, then time it for when the bulk of the Canadian populace is busy watching hockey on TV. 😛

    1. Or read an article on _Black Athena_ By Martin Bernal (1987 and later), added the guy that Farrakhan stole from, and then got into some really good ditch-weed.

  4. This is interesting because it shows the unspoken “white supremacist are correct, but that’s bad, mmmmkay” core of most intersectionalist philosophy.
    A facet that the people who propose this yammer don’t grok.

  5. Ho boy…. Space aliens huh?

    Yea… nearly as entertaining as the idea that “white man” was created by an evil shaman for??? I never really understood the “for” part of that one, and the guy who made that claim didn’t want to talk to me. Something about me being tainted by evil or something (for being white, of course). The idea was funny though. Evil Shaman!! woooooooooo……

  6. And I thought the post-WW2 Nazi theories from people like Miguel Serrano, Fritz Zundel, and Savitri Devi that I read of in Goodrick-Clarke’s BLACK SUN sounded demented.

    1. It’s rare to find a bad/weird/stupid idea that doesn’t have someone saying, “You think that’s the secret? Oh, no, no. Here, hold my [drink of choice] and watch this!”

      1. The truly sad thing about this is that when a redneck says “here, hold my beer and watch this!” there’s a good chance you’re going to see something hilarious – if cringeworthy. When a Woked type says “here, hold my [expensive snoot-value drink] and watch this!” you’ll definitely get cringeworthy, but there’s not likely to be anything remotely enjoyable involved.

        I don’t mind pratfall type humor, as long as it’s done with good will. Sadly, I’ve yet to see a Woked type do anything with good will.

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