White From Black

It’s Tuesday. Again. And for those of us with children, we’re in the final ramp-up to school things. Wee-er Dave is there at this moment, doing her utmost to begin her conquering army. Daddy’s so proud. Himself is home until Friday, the two of them attending different schools, this year. I promised him we’d do something fun while his sister is getting to have fun. After today, because I have to work.

Speaking of work, Monday starts the “both littles in school all morning so Dave writes for a few hours” gig. Honestly, I can barely see that far ahead. I’m going to work on the space opera thing that desperately needs a real title. I’ve posted the first chapter in here, before. I’m about 30k and change into it, and I’m hoping to finish it within a month or so.

So what’s today about? I have no idea. My brain is foggy, as I’ve spent the last several weeks run ragged minding the kiddos. Our own Sarah nabbed a Dragon Award for Best Alternative History Novel, along with friend-of-the-blog Kevin J. Anderson for their novel Uncharted (the whiskey zombies are the best).

In other news, everybody seems to be having a rough year. It seems that since the economy has eased (I base this on people having more money and getting jobs. Also, the various numbers coming from various places) everybody has moved out of survival and run smack up against the various emotional stuff that get suppressed so you can make it from day to day. I sure have.
I don’t have anything for you, though. No solutions, no advice, not even a drop of gasoline for the fire. Just this: you’re not alone in the suckage. Just that. The phrase is “it’s always darkest before the dawn.” While that may be true from a purely orbital sense, I suspect in the realm of human emotions, it’s more like “it always feels darkest before morning nautical twilight,” though that doesn’t ring as well.

Morning nautical twilight is that time when it’s just started to get light. You can make out shapes, and the stars are fading as the sun makes its oppressive presence known. But – and here’s the trick – you can’t tell a black thread from a white while staring at them.

I think a lot of us are flailing about in what amounts to morning nautical twilight. We’re struggling with truly heinous stuff, but for one reason or another (or several) we can’t quite make out what’s actually going on. The good news about morning nautical twilight is the sun comes up, and you can see.

So maybe I do have something, after all. Keep on, with diligence, as the sun *will* come up. In the meantime, I’ll be working on focus, and just maybe, a novel.


  1. Suppressed emotional stuff. “I haven’t got time for this right now” is how a lot of us get through the rough spots. And maybe it’s easier to deal with the built up insecurities, anxieties, anger, fear, whatever, once one knows they are (hopefully) past. But it still has to be dealt with. A point we need to keep in mind both for ourselves and for the people around us, as they react about what happened last year.

    1. Yep – that’s how I plowed through some rough stuff – just turning off the real world and writing about other people.
      Their stuff was a refuge from mind.

  2. I wonder if some people, as the pressure eases financially, are also accidentally picking up the desperation in the various major media? I try to ignore it, but since I’m not quite sweating finances as much as I was this time last year, or even last spring, I find myself starting to echo some of the anxiety and sense-o-doom despite my best efforts.

    1. Condemn yourself for appropriating the mad despair that was not allotted to you through culture by the will of the stars. Stick to the gleefully white supremacist, misogynist, homophobic, asocialist, agaianist station to which you were born.

  3. There better be some BIG SONGS in that space opera, or I’m gonna be damned disappointed!
    Which brings up this thought: Star Wars with singing! A REAL space Opera!!

  4. For those of you who wonder at the name — nautical twilight is the period where you can make out where the horizon is, AND (some of) the stars.

    Invaluable when you are navigating by them.

    anyone who wants to extend the metaphor is free to do so.

  5. Oh that’s a thought.

    Pressure off enough to begin to be able to see all the things that had been pushed off out of necessity.

    Financially, yeah… not doing *well* but doing *well-er* enough to take on some big maintenance projects that are expensive and hitting the financial stress of those projects. So the stress hasn’t gone down but the ability to make progress has gone up. So now it’s about focusing on the progress. Focus on the bonus instead of the Feds taking over half of it! Focus on the fact that the house is being painted and that I *can* pay for it, not on the fact that I *will* be paying on it.

    And time! Having time for some things but not all… different sort of stress. So I’ve got to figure out how to focus on the progress as various things get done, to let myself (to LET myself) enjoy those victories even though not everything is victorious.

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