‘Wors’ is a kind of South African Sausage that is not formed into links. And thus it can be any length you please. It’s sold in coils, like rope. If you’re planning to see ‘Infinity War’ this contains spoilers.
I went to see a movie while I was visiting my son and daughter-in-law. Part of that was they wanted to see it, and part of it was that I make some small effort to know what is going on in the world of entertainment, outside of my little world on a remote island. People have been talking about the whole superheroes thing, and comics in the last while, so I thought I’d better at least understand it.
I think I’m more puzzled after than I was before. Why is the ‘villain’ and his evil plot every Urban Green’s and all of Hollywood’s wet dream? Kill 50% of the population for the environment! Or is this so they can enjoy the ‘good guy’ winning? Or is he villain because he was supposedly killing them at random? The normal Green wet dream somehow has all the ‘bad’ people in the 50% being killed. Mysteriously, all the ‘good’ people (the ones who care for the environment even if that means genocide of all the ‘bad’ people) will then live happily ever after in harmony with nature. Kinda like Thanos desires.
Of course, in a state of ‘nature’ the Earth could support very few humans, also in a state of ‘nature’, naked and joyously supping of fruits and berries and quaffing the sap of the wild soy latte tree.
They forget that most of the predators out there, even the little ones (let alone the human ones) think hairless monkey meat is tasty. And the hairless monkeys don’t run away very fast and their teeth and claws are pretty feeble for defense. It’s only that men – and yes, it was always almost entirely men, being bigger, stronger and more aggressive — who stopped humans from being prey, and made us apex predators to be feared and avoided.
Beside the grave shortage of soy latte trees… Without the infrastructure (that doesn’t just maintain itself) that allows us to have our vast population, supplying food, shelter, thermal control and medicine as well as such things as the internet, Vegan leather, and hamster-wheels, humans, especially city ones are going to die. And unless Thanos screws up the Green wet dream completely – and just takes out Douglas Adams’s Ark B people (Which I suspect would include almost all of the wet-dreamers, and many of the commenters on Vile 770, which is sort of my ‘go-to’ example of Ark B.) suddenly destroying 50% of the population is going to mean a lot of essential infrastructure is going to lose key personnel and fall apart. It may well recover as people scramble to fix and fill holes– but not instantly. Within 48 hours most of the cities will be… a great place to be well-armed, prepped, and hunkered down. I guess that about wraps it up for the remaining Ark B people (as they think firearms wicked and preppers mad)…
I doubt Ark B (people who, if they vanished en masse, would have no real impact on the way the world runs, and indeed whose absence be largely un-noticed, except that the rest would then live happy, fulfilled lives until wiped out by a disease from an un-sanitized telephone) makes Douglas Adams’s 1/3 of the population. I’m optimistic enough about humans to assume it doesn’t get to Thanos’s half (IMO they’re a very loud, very vocal 12-25% of any society, for reasons I have not yet understood. It may have something to do with the mice.). So: 50% killed is probably rapidly going to become a lot more because humans are very urbanized.
And even so it’s got to be one of the dumbest ‘motives’ I’ve ever come across. A supremely powerful being, commanding vast armies and terrorizing the universe (Which, we might just mention is… large for any one terrorizer, no matter how deeply craggy and ridged his chin (how does shave? Why does he shave?) kills 50% the population to save the environment and make enough resources for everyone.
So: does he sterilize the other half? Was Maths and History too hard for the writers? Or is Thanos going to rinse and repeat every 20 years or so? Every war tells the same story: a baby boom.
It’s fair to admit, by the time I got to the villain’s motive my willing suspension of disbelief had been battered to pulp by falling from plot-hole to plot-hole. The various casts of characters, backstories, just didn’t feel as if they should go together. I suppose it’s my lack of superhero experience. Also… I guess if your evil villain is wielding a gun or a knife… you try to kill him or knock him down or whatever superhero-y thing you do… you don’t hit the arm with the weapon? Attempt to disarm them of whatever it is that can’t just hurt you, but kill you? No, that would obviously be wrong. Must be in the superhero code of conduct AKA ‘being a dumb as rocks because otherwise you might make the story really short’. So if you can burn up people zip-zap flump, or wield the ultimate axe… you don’t chop the arm off, but hit the baddy in chest so he can infinity stone himself better and zap you?
And let’s not go onto spaceships and superweapons… spare me the irrational superweapons and powers and playing Zulu warriors. Tactically and strategically… uh. Yeah well. If you’re writing an advanced secret civilization naturally they would know nothing of these… I know, very nice and politically correct. But strategically as sound as launching a hot air balloon in a hurricane. Mind you having them all shout ‘F*ck’ in Zulu (Unless my hearing betrays me) was a good touch. It was all a terrible misunderstanding, and the nasties were just eagerly responding, as they didn’t get a lot of invitation of that kind. They’re really nice girls, you shouldn’t judge by appearances. They have needs too. The Wakandians were being speciest, and should have pretended their advances were welcome. I’m surprised Thanos’s monsters didn’t need a safe space and some play-do after that!
Ok so as you might gather, I was not precisely enchanted by the movie. There were occasional touches of humor that retrieved it from utter bleah. That’s about all I can say. Spiderman was a good touch for laughs. Groot and the video-game and the trash-panda had moments. It’s not so much that I don’t like the genre – my son I watched the first one with Groot, and I enjoyed that. It was space opera, I knew the science was crud and story line implausible, but it was just fun, with more than touch of humor, and, uh, I liked the music.
But – and this is point of this post – while I didn’t like the movie and found a lot of fault with it… millions of people went to see it. Quite a lot of people liked it, despite some complaints. So the big question is: why?
My own opinions: for what they’re worth 1) There were some appealing characters. 2) It’s light entertainment. Only a few jerks like me want to even have a nod in the direction of coherence, plausibility or even basic physics or math. 3) There are a few funny bits of dialogue. 4) The wonders of Wakanda ( Is it racist to make them the strategical thinking equivalent of Foum-the-beltholes – the ancient Briton credited with inventing a way of keeping one’s britches up when running away from battle?) 5)There’s lots wizzes and bangs. (sex and magic!).
So what do you take away from the experience that I missed? I’d like to know.