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There’s Something in the Air

And it’s not – alas – spring. Not here, anyway. It frigging snowed last night. In bloody mid-April. That’s just wrong.

So anyway, something in the air. It would seem that there’s been yet another rampaging outbreak of Bloody Stupid (and not, alas, Bloody Stupid Johnson whose inverse genius is at least entertaining… ahem) or the last one hasn’t died down yet. Regardless, some prat by the name of Damian Walters opined in The Guardian  on the topic of a “queer” future – and sadly he didn’t mean queer as in “strange” or “unusual”.

No, he meant in blatant violation of biology. Now sure there will always be a small percentage of folks who don’t fall into the circles of that wonderful triangle I posted a while back  but there are damn good reasons why that number will stay small. Starting with X and Y chromosome-linked characteristics and including gene switches that are more or less the “on switch” for a Y chromosome. The vast majority of people will be XX or XY in purely genetic terms. Anything else is a disorder. It might be possible for someone who has the wrong number of chromosomes to have kids, but it’s bloody difficult. Some (a very small number, percentage-wise) people with XY chromosomes have malfunctioning gene switches so they don’t develop external genitalia and may go through life thinking they’re “just” odd females. In some cases the switch malfunction is such that at puberty the kid changes apparent sex. Yes, there’s actually an island somewhere where damn near all the kids are born apparently female and half of them become male during the course of puberty. That’s one hell of a testicle descent. Apparently they’re all descended from one person who had a problem (small population – after a few generations everyone is descended from the same set of ancestors).

The basic mechanics (in thoroughly unscientific terms) are genes plus gene switches plus hormonal surges plus hormonal balance equals base sexuality. Culture determines the acceptable ways to express that base sexuality. Still, I suppose it’s a bit much to expect a literary writer to know anything about basic science.

Of course, said literary writer made the mistake of slandering (or libeling – I can never remember which one is which) Larry Correia, who took an indecent amount of glee in correcting the fool’s folly – and providing facts, something the original piece was rather short on. I guess in the hallowed halls (or should that be harrowing halls?) of the Guardian, facts don’t matter, particularly when you’re running down some (horrors!) commercial author. You know, one who doesn’t give a shit if the lead character of a story is gay, straight, or an alien with heretofore unknown sexual proclivities (come to think of it, that could be fun. Just imagine the poor alien looking at human mating with an appalled expression on its facial appendage because it’s utterly obscene to only have two participants! There must be at least five, one of each sex. Anything less is… Oh, sorry. My imaginary alien just fled on its psuedopods to do whatever its equivalent of throwing up is. Apparently it’s just that sick to only do it with two). Er. Getting back on topic, one who doesn’t care what or who the lead characters prefer to do in bed so long as the story is good.

And Larry proclaimed himself the International Lord of Hate. Well, damn. Sarah and I are going to have to work harder if we’re to live up (or is that down) to our titles of Worst Person in the World. And damn it, Amanda and Cedar need to share these titles. They’re just as much Worst People as me and Sarah. It’s plain not fair they didn’t get the title too.

Then, ah then the inimitable John C. Wright proceeded take the smoldering corpse of Damian’s alleged argument and flay it with loving care and a side of acid rubbed ever so carefully into the raw flesh. I stand – or sit – in awe of his mastery. Seriously, go and read it. It’s magnificent.

I’m sure that if he’s actually paying attention poor ickle Damian is wondering why everyone is being so mean to him. Well, sweetie, if you are actually reading this, here’s a hint. I’m one of a number of writers who don’t care what the mainstream thinks. We’ll do what works and we’ll cheerfully mock (aka take the piss out of) anything that’s excessively stupid. So, sweetheart, if you want us to stop being “mean”, you’re going to have to start showing evidence of a functioning brain. Stringing together pretty words that express the approved point of view doesn’t cut it.

You want us to follow the approved point of view, you show us the logic, and science, and – yes – math that makes it a good thing for us. You’re going to have to get past our actual experiences so it had better be bloody good. Remember, you’re dealing with people who’ve lived under communist governments and don’t believe anything that smacks of Marx, people who’ve done hard, grueling manual labor (and in some cases still do it), people who’ve spent their entire lives outside that nice comfortable left-leaning bubble you’ve lived in all your life where the worst thing anyone can tell you is to get your hair cut and man up.

Shit, I got worse than that every frigging day, all through high school. So, Damian darlin’, that’s your challenge. Explain your precious beliefs in a way that respects us and don’t lie about us. Then we might stop mocking you.

Even better, stop being so damn mockable and we won’t have anything to mock. Unlike some of your fellow travelers we don’t make that shit up.

55 Comments
  1. This poor guy. Lol. I’d feel sorry for him if it wasn’t so funny! I just wanted to say that some of us women still like our men hardworking whether they herd cattle or program computers. We like men to be men. And some of us women enjoy being women. Here’s the shocking part. Ready? We even enjoy being housewives and homemakers! Gasp! How dare we???? We like our children, we like taking care of our homes, and we like opening them up to friends and family! I know the libs just won’t believe it, but it’s true. Thanks for continuing to poke at the Guardian! It’s been so much fun!

    April 17, 2014
    • Kate Paulk #

      Well, yes. Silly me, thinking the whole idea of women’s lib was so women could choose whether they wanted to be breadwinners or home makers – and so could men. Silly me, thinking the whole idea was meant to be that people could make choices and not be judged on whether they had an innie or an outie, or what got them hot and bothered, or… you get the point.

      I enjoy taking the piss. Being Aussie born, it’s kind of built in.

      April 17, 2014
  2. Mr. Write did such a nice job filleting Walters, there are Fugu chefs in Japan taking notes.

    April 17, 2014
    • Arrrgh! Where’s the damned edit button!

      (Now pondering the difference between homophone and homophobia, which I’m sure I’ll be accused of….)

      April 17, 2014
      • bearcat #

        I suspect that Walters will never think of Mr. Wright as Mr. Right.

        April 17, 2014
        • Kate Paulk #

          Likely not. Some of us over here, though… “Mr Wright, I adore you. I mean that in a totally non-sexual way.”

          April 17, 2014
      • Kate Paulk #

        Well, yes, but are you homophobic about homophones, homosexuals, homonyms, or something else?

        April 17, 2014
    • Kate Paulk #

      They may even be taking notes on what Mr Wright did – and possibly wondering if people will ever design a spell checker that recognizes incorrect homophones.

      April 17, 2014
      • What I’m curious about is how the first thread became the second thread…. WordPress is weird.

        Walters, on the other hand, is welcome to some Fugu Liver Pate’. *evil, evil grin*

        April 18, 2014
  3. bearcat #

    I’m sure Damien is getting tired of everybody piling on him, so I’ll just give him a piece of well-meaning advice; either man up or shut up.

    Of course he has probably got more people reading him this week because of his whining idiocy than he has in the entire rest of his life combined.

    April 17, 2014
    • There’s no “Like” button for your comment. Unfortunate, this.

      April 17, 2014
      • So true, Jason. We really need to figure out how to put a “like” button on these posts.

        April 17, 2014
        • *LIKE*

          Seems kinda tacky. Hmph.

          April 17, 2014
        • I believe there are plugins that can do it.

          April 17, 2014
          • I believe when Sarah put one in, it coughed and died. Don’t know why, it was only a 150 comment thread….

            April 17, 2014
            • bearcat #

              Wonder what it would do on one of her normal threads?

              April 18, 2014
    • Kate Paulk #

      Probably. Reading then taking the piss. Which is for his ilk worse than being ignored.

      April 17, 2014
  4. johncwright2001 #

    Slander is spoken. In print, it’s libel. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XscaGDxuQqE
    One of the benefits of my days in a law office and in a newspaper bullpen.

    April 17, 2014
    • Kate Paulk #

      Thank you! I always mix the two up. Of course, I generally think of both as bloody lies, so…

      April 17, 2014
  5. sabrinachase #

    As much as I admire and respect Mr. Correia, I think he needs to *earn* the title of the International Lord of Hate. I think there are several ILOHs. I also think there should be trading cards of the various Lords and Ladies of Hate, international or otherwise. Think of the marketing opportunities!

    April 17, 2014
    • Kate Paulk #

      Do we get prizes for collecting a full deck?

      April 17, 2014
      • Writers . . . full deck . . . not sure this works.

        April 17, 2014
        • Kate Paulk #

          Maybe a full house o’ nuts would work better?

          April 17, 2014
  6. Jim McCoy #

    Kate, Kate, Kate. You’re never going to get facts from the left. They can’t win the logical argument and they know it. It’s all about whiny emo-babble from them. Asking for a cogent argument just makes you look silly.

    April 17, 2014
    • Kate Paulk #

      Oh, I know I won’t get facts from them. But the absence just might tweak one or two of the brainwashed enough that they’ll start thinking and move away from the nonsense.

      April 17, 2014
  7. Of course, said literary writer made the mistake of slandering (or libeling – I can never remember which one is which)

    I actually remember the difference always thanks to Spider-Man 1.

    Who said you can’t learn something from Superheroes? 😉

    April 17, 2014
    • Kate Paulk #

      Of course you can learn from superheroes. Usually what you learn is “don’t try this at home, kiddies”, but that’s a different matter.

      April 17, 2014
  8. Kate– thanks for the laugh. It has to be magic for that group of sapiens to breed… nothing else makes sense.

    April 17, 2014
    • That or some strange “science.”

      April 17, 2014
      • Kate Paulk #

        Well, when you dispute that facts are immutable, all science becomes strange.

        April 17, 2014
        • bearcat #

          For some reason I read that as “facts are immolatable”

          April 18, 2014
          • Kate Paulk #

            It depends entirely on the fact.

            April 18, 2014
    • Kate Paulk #

      That group believes if they wish for something hard enough they’ll get it. Sometimes it works because someone gives it to them to shut them up.

      April 17, 2014
  9. gingeroni #

    There’s a cool article on snowfall patterns on fivethirtyeight. Sadly they don’t include your area (PA right?)

    http://fivethirtyeight.com/datalab/when-april-snow-showers-blanket-spring-flowers/

    April 17, 2014
    • Kate Paulk #

      That is a neat article, and yeah, they don’t include PA. Not even any major PA cities.

      April 17, 2014
  10. I don’t think the West can get much more queer. There’s so little social cost to being open about non-standard sexuality that we’ve pretty much reached the biological limit. Now, we seem to be rewarding people who figure out some way to make themselves sound queer, so frankly, I think we’re in a overshoot situation, right now. Mind you, this is for adults. Bullying is alive and well in school, so kids try to fit in, even when they’ve never really thought about sex, themselves.

    A queer future? Meh. Depends on the fads at the time. There will always be outliers. The shape of the future will depend more on which outliers are suppressed and which are imitated.

    A strange future? Oh, probably. Weird? We’ll see.

    April 17, 2014
    • Kate Paulk #

      I guess we will. Kids try to fit in because it’s all part of the process of figuring out what the pecking order is and where you fit in it, as well as learning the cues that tell you what the order is.

      It’s a brutal process. Not learning it is possibly worse.

      April 17, 2014
    • And one of the things they’ve forgotten is that pendulums(pendula?) always swing both ways. I’m just hoping we all don’t learn this to our severe misfortune.

      April 17, 2014
      • Kate Paulk #

        Those who don’t learn history are condemned to repeat it. The rest of us are condemned to the peanut gallery where our cries of “I told you so!” are forever ignored.

        April 17, 2014
  11. Mental image: Vicar, blundering through snowdrifts, meets Kate. “Spring in the air, Kate!”
    Kate with one of those disgruntling snorts we mad genius are famed for (ask Cora Buhlert). “Spring in the bloody air yourself vicar.”
    At which point Kate makes gainly (the opposite of ungainly) leap, followed by ungainly dive into snow.
    “Aha!” ses vicar. “I said you should spring in the air, and you did.”
    “Didn’t. Tripped over a snow-obscured lawnmower, ready for the grass being griz because spring has sprung.”
    (forgive the irrelevant irreverence, but I am monkey)

    April 17, 2014
    • Kate Paulk #

      You missed the stream of “enlightening” language that followed the gainly leap since I really don’t do well when I trip and fall 🙂 Of course, with that the vicar would probably have covered his ears or something.

      And, damn it, we were thinking that the grass might well have riz enough for the lawnmower.

      April 17, 2014
      • bearcat #

        Oh mine has, but mowing in a downpour doesn’t work well. (Yes we seem to be the only spot in the US that is getting rain instead of snow)

        April 18, 2014
        • Kate Paulk #

          Our catch-cry lately is “at least its not snowing”. Except last week that wasn’t true.

          April 18, 2014
  12. robfornow #

    Homo-phobic, when I was a freshman in college, the introduction to psychology book described ‘Phobia’ as ‘a fear of’ like claustrophobia is a fear of close space (roughly). We normals (I know Kate, I know) are said to be Homophobic when we disagree or resist the party line. I would like to find one normal male in the US that is afraid of homosexuals. That would be a trophy.

    April 17, 2014
    • Micheal Medved, although he denies it. Whenever he talks on his show about homosexuals (often enough that I stopped listening to him years ago) it invariably comes out that he’d be extremely disturbed by the idea that there is another man in the shower at the gym who might possibly be looking at his hairy ass with lust in his heart.

      What I need is latin extension that means hatred, rather than fear. I had a character who hated aliens, so Xenophobic isn’t really right. I used “Xenomalia” but I don’t know if that really was right.

      April 18, 2014
      • Um, I’m pretty damn disturbed when lesbians shower with me and check me out– so, by your definition, I’m a homophobe? Or is that only now that I’m in my 30s and not as cute as I was?

        Or is it OK because I am creeped out by guys taking situation advantage to check me out, too?

        April 18, 2014
        • Kate Paulk #

          Creeped out or disturbed by inappropriate behavior isn’t the same as “afraid of”. It’s creeped out or disturbed by inappropriate behavior.

          April 18, 2014
          • Paul (Drak Bibliophile) Howard #

            Whatever the term “homophobic” actually means, IMO the common usage is “hater of gays”.

            In other words, if you say I’m homophobic, then you’re calling me a bigot. [Sad Smile]

            By the way, IIRC “homophobic” was not created by a “mental health professional”, it was created as a slur by a gay rights activist.

            April 18, 2014
            • Kate Paulk #

              Of course. “Homophobic” really means “scared of sameness” or “scared of alikeness”. But then it’s a bit much to ask these people to know the actual meanings of their little portmanteau words.

              April 18, 2014
              • I’d be scared of too many people like me… it’s called “family reunions” and can be explosive.

                Aaaregh, now I’m wondering if I can shoe-horn in Doppelgangers into that werewolf story I’m playing with. That’s REAL homophobia!

                April 18, 2014
          • It’s creeped out or disturbed by inappropriate behavior.

            I quite agree– I listen to Medved sometimes, when I can stand his “playing nice even if it kills us” stance. (Seriously, I’m into honor and lawful good, but manners aren’t a suicide pact.)
            The few times it’s come up when I was listening, he’s responding the same way I do to lesbians checking me out.

            When I have objected, I usually get the response along the lines of “you should be glad for the attention.”

            April 18, 2014
        • Well, in Medved’s case, it sounds like they don’t even have to be overt, or even noticeable, it’s just the IDEA that they MIGHT exist that bugs him. So he comes off a bit paranoid.

          April 18, 2014
          • ….You haven’t heard the homosexual guys who do explicitly and publicly talk about how they go into showers for that very reason, I’m guessing.

            He’s in Seattle.

            In the same blob that put a known child rapist into a high school, and hid it from everyone but the principle, because he had a “right” to an education until he hit 18. (He assaulted a special needs girl, after grooming her for a few months; insufficiently, thankfully, because she told.)

            We’re really, really weird about sex here.

            April 18, 2014
    • Kate Paulk #

      It all depends on your definition of “normal”.

      April 18, 2014
    • BobtheRegisterredFool #

      I may still have a mild phobia of pederasts, child murderers and pedophiles left over from my childhood, and that only if we conclude that the fear was excessive and harmful.

      I thus figure that describing me as a homophobe is implicitly a claim of a greater correlation between homosexuality and pedophilia than the evidence suggests to me.

      a) I have had real phobias, and I know from the inside some of how they work.
      b) I am a literalist, and know enough about classics and psychological jargon to kick up a fuss about the use of homophobe.
      c) If someone is really talking about approval, they might as well give up on changing my mind. When I was young, I decided to be unyielding, as a deliberate counter to what Foxfier calls grooming here.
      d) I also have problems with many kinds of sexual relations between a man and a woman. I do not need to make a special case in my principles for cases I was unaware when I first formed them.

      April 18, 2014

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