I guess I should warn folks here (although it’s probably too late by now) that innocence is a bit like virginity. Once lost, you never get it back.
The same can be said for those who have never experienced the warped delights of filking – putting fannish lyrics to existing tunes. Once you’ve started it, you’re never the same again. I alas, have succumbed to the evil muse and submit – with sincere and abject apologies to Voltaire – the SFWA Biologist’s Lament…
If, as a SFWA writer,
Biology’s your thing
Take a tip from a former fellow
And keep it in your wing.
For as one soul discovered
There’s nothing they like less
Than being fully functional and anatomically correct
Yes, fully functional and anatomically correct.
The presence of a penis must make a man be vile,
Unless he’s got more guilt backed up than a hooker’s had with style.
The women must be stronger than any man could get,
and the characters can’t ever know that their biology don’t fit
So if you’re a SFWA writer, your characters can’t get
to be fully functional and anatomically correct.
Never fully functional and anatomically correct.