I’m vanilla. The real thing, not the artificial flavoring. I find it amusing that ordinary heterosexual monogamous relationships should be described thus. Hell’s teeth, I couldn’t care less what your personal private life is like, as long as you don’t frighten the horses… or the salmon… or the children. But I have to be amused at the choice of descriptive term. I mean, like, at least 90% or more of the human race… and the word chosen is the name of the second most expensive spice in the world, an orchid whose flowering (i.e. sexual maturity) lasts one day or less, and where almost all the pollination is done artificially, by humans with a little sliver of bamboo. The seeds too just don’t grow new baby plants without the presence of symbiotic micorrhizal fungi, meaning most plants are grown from cuttings. The whole process of producing vanilla is ridiculously labor intensive and complicated. Left to itself, and merely harvested from nature, it would be the rarest and most unheard-of spice. Yeah. Vanilla.
Anyway, I have no problem with the term being applied to me, in any sense. Shrug. The fake stuff may be relatively cheap and make up most of it – but it is still one the most popular flavors out there. And the real thing… well, that’s flattery. The amount of money and effort that goes into producing it shows that it must be very valued.
Barbs and I fell into bed, Frankencar being a going concern again, and me planning on doing something weird today: writing. I made some tired comment about my life being mostly uphill, sometimes to get to the same bloody place I was in before I did the last stupid thing. She said ‘Yes, but we’ve climbed hills not many other people even get to see.”
“Mountains too. And cliffs,” feeling being this vanilla bloke was pretty good really, if just to hear that. We haven’t lived the most adventurous, hardest life ever… but we’re up there with the most bizarre anyway. It is true enough to say that it has colored my writing. Maybe not quite vanilla enough for the widest possible market? Whatever. I started into this battle with a naive belief that good enough quality would win through, and that advances were irrelevant – all a book needed was a fair go. Well, I know now that’s not true, but I guess it is my hill that I want to die on: I still keep hoping that I’m producing quality stories people want to read, and will tell their friends about. And that they’re stories that reflect my values and world-view.
Onwards. a thousand two hundred words today. Not a great day, but a lot better than none. Keep at it and slowly the books build up, there is more work out there. Speaking of which: ‘BOYS SURFACE’ (A SHORT STORY) should be available on the 15th. I’m going to be bringing out at least one a month for the next while. This one is a world I really, really hope we never get to. It’s tongue in cheek – but the scary concept is the happiness of the prisoner within her prison, her world, because that is what she knows and accepts. If I have one life moral and lesson to impart: we do not have to ‘accept’. We’re humans. We change things. Even the production of Vanilla.