DO NOT WANT
As I type, it is Wednesday evening, and I have finished my first day back at work after almost two weeks of lovely, peaceful time off (well, peaceful with the exception of hauling the Bugger-cat to the specialist vet – he’s gained another 3/4 pound, bringing him up to merely underweight as opposed to emaciated. He should be in the 10lb range. He’s currently just over 8lb. At his worst, he was 5 1/2 lb and barely more than skin and bones).
So, the title of the post sums up my feelings right now. I really did not want to return to the daily grind.
It’s not that I hate the job – I like it most of the time. It’s just that it’s so damned all-consuming I end up not being able to do anything except the job half the time. The last few days have been the first time my brain has functioned enough for some writing in way too long. This is, as y’all might guess, not a good thing. If I’m not writing I tend to go off-balance.
Not that there’s anything excessively wrong. I’m fuzzy-headed courtesy being female and into that certain time of life, maybe a bit more inclined towards depressive or maudlin turns of mind than usual, but otherwise functioning decently well, apart from being tired all the time.
I know it’s traditional to do the whole new year resolutions thing, but I fare phenomenally badly at that (as in, never mind fail to achieve them, I usually fail to start the bloody things) so instead of resolving to perform this that or the other miracle, I’m going to try to keep writing even a tiddly little bit of stupid fanfiction daily in the hope that this will eventually jog something a bit more substantial loose as I get back into practice.
I have of course given myself full permission to suck more than an industrial vacuum (or the space between a politician’s ears), and I have no doubt that my crappy fanfic efforts do precisely that.
They’re still way the hell better than anything I’ve managed in longer than I care to count, so I’m going for it.
Happy New Year, and no, I’m not trying to be a sour sarcastic bitch. That’s just Kate-normal these days.
(Image found at http://raindovethemodel.blogspot.com/2014/08/fashion-week-rejection-cat-meme.html but I have no idea if that’s the original source or not)