Or several. This is one of the “several” Days – so I’m going to describe it in a slightly different style than my usual snark. Not least because my usual snark would explode something.
Of course, it helps to remember that I test software for a living.
Meet Kate. Kate tests software. This is Kate when things are normal.
See Kate make software explode.
Kate likes making software explode.
But Kate has other things to do at work. See Kate debug the brand new version of the connector between the two management systems her team uses. Kate does not like the brand new connector. Kate does not like needing to keep two management systems talking to each other. Kate is like the rope.
Kate has to keep everything together because the system the team uses does some things that the system the management says they have to use does not.
Silly Kate. Kate forgets if you do something once you will always be in charge of doing it.
See Kate trying to debug the brand new version of the connector.
See Kate making a support case because the brand new version does not work.
See Kate try not to say what she really thinks about companies that take away support for a thing before their software is ready to use that thing.
Kate is not happy. Kate likes to have to work to make software explode. When software Kate is using explodes, Kate has a Day. Kate does not like to have Days. Having Days is Bad. It makes Kate like
Kate would rather be like
So Kate is going to stop being silly with Giphy and hope she doesn’t have another Day.
You had A Day too? Today was one of Those Days, where I am a snarling, raging bitch out of pure frustration.
Sympathies. And comforting beverages.
Ugh. I have Days sometimes. Days when my coworkers insisted that Spellcheck and Grammarly are perfect and infallible, and I turn into a giant green rage monster.
Have you shown them the “Spelling chequer” poem?
I am actually unfamiliar with that poem, though I do have a few examples that I use on them.
The closest to ‘original’ I’ve been able to find was pretty subtle:
I have a spelling checker
It came with my PC
It highlights for my review
Mistakes I cannot sea.
I ran this poem thru it
I’m sure your pleased to no
Its letter perfect in it’s weigh
My checker told me sew.
There are more egregious versions:
I have a spelling chequer,
It came with my pea sea
It plane lee marks four my revue
Miss steaks aye can knot sea.
Eye ran this poem threw it,
Your sure reel glad two no.
Its vary polished in it’s weigh.
My checker tolled me sew.
Most comprehensive source I’ve found (It is one of those things that keeps getting worse and worse with retelling):
My eternal sympathies. May you not pull an Andrew and turn into a giant green rage monster on this Day.
So long as nobody utters the phrase “Well, it works on my machine…”
I did that ONCE as a very young and very stupid code monkey. Fortunately, young enough to get far away while the one-woman mob was still looking for her pitchfork.
Or why on Bugzilla, when I see “works for me” I know it actually means “bug will not be fixed”. Grrrrrrrr….
Gist of an exchange from my days of being widely feared by programmers as “the beta tester who can break anything”:
Me: You broke it! it’s slower than before!
Coder: Is not! I didn’t change anything!
Me: Did too! I timed it, it’s 5% slower! (enough for me to notice, if not you.)
Coder: Did not! Not!!
a few days later…
Coder (sheepishly): I fixed it.
Heh. That’s part of the reason virtual machines and containers have become popular.
“Works on my virtual machine! Here, take a copy.”
“Wow, it does work.”
“Right, because your actual machine defaults to to the new (since 2011 but still new right?) C++ string libraries and this code still contains embedded libraries using the pre-2011 string code…”
“We’ll just use the virtual machine, thanks.”
I was on the phone for over an hour with Adobe support the other day trying to figure out why After Effects wouldn’t start on my workstation, and I give them remote access and the guy is like “you have a lot of background services running”- he’s obviously never looked at how many background services a content creation workstation tends to have running- and then he goes to start turni9ng off background services on startup and i end up grabbing the mouse and typing to him “I’d really prefer you didn’t turn off the drivers for my tablet display’. Idiots. And yes, I’ve seen up to and including graphics software developers do the same thing… “it works on my machine” when they have nothing else installed except the dev environment…
I think I………..understand.
as a beta tester for various things, i feel for you. especially when you encounter one of those bugs that are hard to repeat…
Just keep telling yourself that a hard crash is far easier to debug and fix than an intermittent glitch. And if the good Lord had wanted us to be efficient He would never have given us the qwerty keyboard.
Heck, I had a week. Fortunately, the week is over.
Long ago, in an organization far, far away, there was a happy l’il system. New management said, “Oh, yuck, 24×80 CRTish! We must be on THE WEB!” The systems infantry said, “We could web-enable the existing system for cheap.” Management: “Oh, horrors! 24×80! We need new-new-new! Scrolling! Graphics! We will engage Big I, and Big M to sweep this trash away!” Infantry: :: grumble grumble :: Big I & Big M: Come, fellows. All you need do is off-load the data. We will then new-new-new. [Only management has an exclamation point fetish.] Infantry: [After not to much work] There you go. Big I & Big M: [churn churn churn] Eh, voila! [Earth-shattering crash] Hmmm, too much data. How about summarizing a bit? Infantry: Here you go. [Lather, rinse, repeat] Big I & Big M: [$15 million later] How about you send us the data you gather as shown on your yucky 24x80s, and we will new-new-new it on the web pages? Infantry: Here you go. How’s are the base data to be updated. Big I & Big M: Oh, the BACK-END will stay in place. And here’s NEW-NEW-NEW! Management and the Bigs: Victory! Infantry: :: sigh ::
You can’t even escape that in the INFANTRY?!?! I know “dumb grunts” is a (incorrect) stereotype, but I’d thought it would be safe from software fad-of-the-day.
Once upon a time, I was persuaded to use frames for the major web pages I was revising.