Circumstances being what they have been, this last book has been dragged out of me. It is very hard to focus on writing when you’re permanently stressed, angry, frustrated. At least, it is hard to write about anything else. Anyway, I got there. The book got finished, and I am now in the throes of doing my first pull through, adding, correcting, putting in names and details. It will go through another 6-7 layers of this.
I’ve done this many times, but seldom been quite as exhausted as I am now. I know that it is essential to step away, which I can in good conscience do once I hand over to Barbs for her first read. Once those corrections are in it will go to other readers, and that will take a few more weeks. Trust me, super-fast, super easy, compared to petty bureaucrats, or that final layer of hell, private sector ‘accredited professionals’ that you have to have by law — and thus can charge as they please and get around to it if and when they feel inclined. Don’t complain – or they won’t do it at all, or they will make your life a misery.
In the meanwhile, I will have to start work on the next book. No workee- no earnee, so it must be done. But, well, it is very hard to get on the horse again. I know the sooner I do it, the easier – but I must finish the last one first. And then I must muster the immersion, the commitment, and most of all the drive. Some of it is just straight overcoming inertia. And an element of it is ‘don’t hit me again’.
Like every author I believe that I have produced a great book (right after the ‘this sucks, no one will ever want to read it’ stage.) I put everything I can into it. My heart. I bleed onto those pages, cry over the tragedies, laugh too loudly at the jokes, celebrate the victories. And then it is out. I try not to read the reviews. But the sales (even if you’re getting 4.8 star reviews) can be heartbreaking. Yes, I know, many people sell far less than I do. I am sure some are better than I am. Many sell far more. And I know that either I am not good enough, or not connected enough or just not what audiences actually want. I accept this, but… every time that is my darling child going out there. If people don’t love it like I do, it hurts. And then I do it again.
That’s just an author’s life. I’ll go and write the next one and love it, and bleed for it. Try to try even harder. And turn it out to make its own to make its own way in the world, carrying my hopes and dreams. So: what do you do ease the ‘start the next’ process?
Mad Genius Club 
8 responses to “Post-partum blues”
I’m finding that “And now I need to write this” will pretty well guarantee that my subconscious will decide that “But we’re going to write this new idea first!”
I’ve had an involuntary pause for illness/recovery which made it tough to even recall how my sophisticated computer technical tools worked. That’s taken a while, where all I can do is add stuff to the files for my plans for the first 5 books of the new series (except book 4… all I know about that one is where it’s set. It’ll have to be a surprise. 🙂 ). I wrote 1 & 2 completely before the pause, and now have a lot of small-detail world-building editing to do, but the stories themselves are done.
Now that I am essentially recovered (and after April 15 taxes) I will finally be free to motor on. So it’s not my books that will be freed, it will be me. Now all I have to do is fit in what I can while I can still think.
I had to check to make sure I didn’t write this. VBG. I and going through the final throes of the newest book, coming out in a few weeks, and have to get busy on the next one. Which means my subconscious will decide I need to write something else. Wish I could help with the idiot government-types for you and looking forward to reading this latest from you.
I do all the chores I’ve been putting off, move the notes and research books for Done Book out of the way and stack the To-Be-Done book’s materials within reach. Then I play dead (mentally) for another day or so before wading into the fray, if I have not already started sketching out a story and conflicts as I read the research books.
I have no idea what you do next! It takes me forever to write my doorstops and then life insists on getting in the way.
Best wishes to you with the next book. May it flow easily and steadily from your pen.
I’ve sometimes had beneficial results with “start writing a different one in same series while doing edits and polishes on the somewhat-finished one.” Within a couple of days of writing the ending of Wolf’s Trail, with continuity to clean up and bridging segments still to write, I’d started on the opening of the sequel. (That would be more impressive if the sequel had progressed more than 13K words in the six-ish months between then and now…) The third book in the Jaiya series was written, circa 2010 before I’d nailed down the setting; then in I think 2013 I wrote the first book in the series with a clearer idea, and I rough-drafted a book to bridge the two during 2017, during the process of bringing book 3 properly into the setting (changing most of the names, getting rid of the random steamtech and palantirs, etc).
Most often, it goes: finish rough draft; unnecessarily long do-nothing breather; polish do cover somewhere in there; format for ebook and paperback; figure out blurb; upload; another unnecessarily long do-nothing breather.
One of the few advantages of writing in parallel is that it smooths this out.
“And I know that either I am not good enough, or not connected enough or just not what audiences actually want.”
As a newish wannabe, those thoughts oppress me all the time. Thanks for letting me know it’s not just me.