Before we had even gotten married, life threw several curveballs at my Calmer Half and myself. (The very first time we met in the flesh, we were failing to outrun a volcanic ash cloud, but that’s a completely different story for another day.)

When I got too wound up about some momentary crisis, his reaction was to smile, and say with a hint of suppressed laughter, “Calm down, love! It’s a good day! No one’s shooting at you!”

The first time he said that, I was irritated, because I thought he was laughing at me. Later, I came to realize that no, he was laughing at the situation, and learned to laugh with him. Life became much better, when we were standing together and laughing at the world.

So, this is Christmas Eve.

In a world where we are constantly bombarded with imagery, and social media easily hijacks our primitive brain’s need to fit in with the tribe by showing us relentless pictures and posts and ads of people going all out, until our subconscious expectations set the baseline impossibly high for any human…

In a world where the holidays are often fraught with terrible associations of suck and fail, and reminders of what you’ve lost…

In a world that promises you can buy happiness if you just get them the exact right present…

Take a deep breath, and reset the bar.

No one’s shooting at you.

Just take the time to be present, in the moment, and to reach out to friends.

You don’t have to be be perfect. You just have to be there. That will be what makes the perfect memories.

And if every disaster strikes? Take a few deep, calming breaths, and ask yourself:
1.) Is anyone shooting at me?
2.) How hilarious a “No shit there I was” story can we turn this into, when it’s over?

Merry Christmas, everyone.