History is fluid and time is an illusion

‘and lunch-time, doubly so.’ (Thank you, Douglas Adams.) Enjoy this while it lasts, because there is little doubt that some Owellian little prat somewhere in the future will be shocked at the idea of “Two pints, at lunch-time” being mentioned and re-write it. As Orwell predicted: ‘Every record has been destroyed or falsified, every book re-written…’

I see the ‘sensitivity readers’ are following George Orwell’s instruction manual to the letter. In a situation worthy of Big Brother, we may be able to press for them to be arrested ‘far right wing extremists’ because… yes, George Orwell has now been put on a list of authors of… far right wing extremist literature, by some government apparatchik in the UK. He’s great company because apparently CS Lewis and Tolkien are ALSO on the list.

However, I suspect Puffin books, who own the Roald Dahl literary estate, will see Roald Dahl is considered ‘not extremist, but desirable (at least this week) thanks to their ‘Sensitivity editing’ (which is newspeak for Orwellian re-write of books and indeed, history). Some examples include getting rid of words like ‘fat’. And in THE WITCHES… well, you can’t say nasty things about wigs. In the new version you can’t go around pulling the hair of every lady you meet. No, no, no we must have a little sermon about the other reasons women might wear wigs. And a woman can’t merely be “working as a cashier in a supermarket, or typing letters for a businessman…” How insensitive! No, no, no! “working as a top scientist or running a business”. In MATILDA Joseph Conrad and Rudyard Kipling get unpersoned and removed… because… well SO insensitive. I mean, someone might read IF and feel inadequate or challenged.

Treasure your old copies, and hide them from the Ministry of Truth. You know, if the mission really is not offend readers (which I do not believe for an instant) print runs of small numbers are cheap and easy these days. Why not put out both the old and bowdlerized version – same cover, just in nice bold print on the cover, label the bowdlerized version as ‘sensitivity edited’ and see which one people buy. If they find one offensive, they won’t buy it. I’m going for 10:1 original: bowdlerized version.

Orwell may be stigmatized ‘Extremist, far right-wing literature. However, his book 1984 is about to be rewritten by Sandra Newman of 1984 from feminist point of view, will I am sure not be on the list. Hollywood studios are already vying for the rights (they’re quick learners, Hollyweird. I mean considering the vast success of the feminist remake of Ghostbusters, of course they would).

I keep hoping that we’re seeing peak woke – because people are getting sick of it… and the next one steps up and says ‘hold my beer’. Maybe someone needs to explain the term pendulum to them.

Talking of time – and IF I am afraid I fail, badly, at the ‘And wait and not be tired by waiting’ – It was a huge aspect of Trad publishing, and I think the thing I hated the most. It was the waiting, waiting, waiting… for things beyond your control which you could do absolutely nothing about. It’s one of the aspects of Indy I find so appealing, is most of the time, I am relying on me, and, when I am not, well, I DO have some control. At the moment, in my little saga with our petty local government officials – I am re-creating the Trad publishing saga, of waiting on well-paid people who lose nothing by keeping me waiting — where all I can do is… wait and hope. It’s played hell with my writing – I reckon cost me and my readers 4 books… for no real gain on anyone’s part – just petty-fogging. It’s not easy, and, certainly in my writing life, I am not going back to that stress.