Laugh out loud funny

I doubt there’s anyone here in the US who couldn’t use a good laugh right now. Beween Covid-19 and some serious cases of cabin fever and the upcoming election, we’re being inundated on all sides with bad and worse news. I keep waiting for someone to start yelling “The sky is falling!” Oh, wait, Neil Degrasse Tyson already did. So, if you’re like me, you’ve been looking for something to make you laugh. I realized just how much I needed it when, late last night–okay, really early this morning–I read a scene in Kathleen Brooks’ newest book, Broken Shadows. It was not only laugh out loud funny but so funny I was stifling my laughs in my pillow so I didn’t wake up the household.

Picture it if you will. A knitting club that meets in a room at the church. The club consists of young and old women. Oh, and a hot federal agent–male. At this particular meeting, newcomers to town are in attendance. But this isn’t your usual sort of knitting club. The grannies here aren’t knitting granny squares and sweaters. Nope. Not at all. They are knitting penises!

Oh, they claim they are pot holders or wine bottle covers, but they are still penises all the same. And the hot guy? He’s knitting nipples. Not bottle nipples but a baby cap that forms a nipple on top. Why? So his sister-in-law can nurse her soon-to-be-born baby in public and not get in trouble. All the onlookers will see is her knitted breast an nipple.

Then there’s the granny who’s pissed off because her daughter-in-law wouldn’t let her decide what she wanted her grandson to call her. DIL decided she should be called gaga. So the grandma takes great pleasure in getting back at DIL. First, she taught the grandson to call his cat “pussy” and she laughs gaily at the thought of him standing outside and calling for his pussy, much to his mother’s chagrin.

But it gets better. When she looked after the boy because mom and dad needed a night out (I would too. The kid sounds like a terror. He got up in the middle of the night, found the glue and glitter and applied the same to the walls. Then he went back to bed and slept the sleep of angels until his mother’s scream woke him. Before she could get mad, he admitted he did it because he loved her. Yes, that’s me snickering again.)

Anyway, back to what grandma did this time. She taught the boy all about penises and vaginas. Now the boy very obviously takes after grandma. He waited to reveal his new knowledge until he was out in public with his mama. Then, where everyone could hear him, he pointed to several women and said loudly “Vaginas!”. Not long after that he saw some teenaged boys and shouted “Penis!”

As any parent can tell you, kids always choose the worst time to do something like this. And, yes, the mother deserved it, bless her heart.

Remember, this is just one chapter in the book. There are other gems spread throughout it. It was exactly the mix of mystery and humor I needed. 

I’ve also realized I am trolling Youtube more lately, looking for things to make me laugh. Everything from clips from Whose Line Is It Anyway (thankfully still politically incorrect) to old Carol Burnett Show clips, I go there when I want to laugh. It’s helped keep my at the keyboard and writing. Here’s one of my favorites.

Now that I’ve had my laugh this morning, I need to find more coffee and finish the final read through of Cat’s Paw. before uploading the publication file. Release day is Tuesday, assuming nothing untoward happens.

But help a gal out. What are you doing right now for laughs?

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13 comments

  1. *Long, detailed discussion of extensive political trolling program.*

    “Oh, wait, I don’t talk about that here.”

    I’ve actually both been making an effort to cut back on politics, and trying to quit trolling. Wrong mindsets for what I need right now.

    I’ve been watching the anime summary videos of a youtuber handled viniitube. I’m been working at various other things also. Forex, years back I managed to quit reading unlicensed translations of Japanese light novels, etc. I have started reading licensed translations on Kindle just this year, and recently I’ve fallen off the wagon and started reading stuff on royalroad. Which has a original fic mixed with translations; At least one of the translations wound up being a bit too thinky for me right now.

  2. Old episodes and skits from the Carol Burnett Show float across the torrents occasionally. They’re of my parents’ generation, but they’re good clean fun.

    I like almost all the skits, but my particular favorites are the ones where Carol and Harvey play silent film star Nora Desmond and her factotum, Max.

    1. My daughter discovered the archive of the Carol Burnett show on some streaming service or other, and even though it went off the air two years before she was born – she loved it, extravagantly, and laughed her *ss off, every episode.

  3. I would suggest some of JR Blain’s Romantic Comedy with a Body Count. Also Roger Hall’s “You’re Stepping on My Cloak and Dagger”.

  4. “But help a gal out. What are you doing right now for laughs?”

    Fixing my truck. It isn’t funny, particularly, but it is more entertaining than the news. Every minute I spend doing -anything- other than looking at the shit-show that is media in 2020 is a blessing.

    Plus, finding out how f-ed my brakes were was actually kind of funny. I got the very last mile of life out of those brake pads, let’s just say. ~:D

  5. Q: How many journalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

    A: Three. One to report it as an inspired government program to bring light to the people, one to report it as a diabolical government plot to deprive the poor of darkness, and one to win a Pulitzer prize for reporting that Electric Company hired a light bulb-assassin to break the bulb in the first place.

    1. Turns out that Big Engineering has been paying off Lord Entropy since before the time of Creation. Came out yesterday when a bunch of Japanese teens killed everyone involved.

  6. I stumbled across a Terminator movie that I was not aware existed (Dark Fate). It wasn’t particularly funny, although there were some good one liners (of course). Much to my shock and surprise, it didn’t suck. It’s basically an all-female remake of the original and it’s pretty good (disbelief, suspend it – several times and ways), although a bit overdone. Linda Hamilton is great.

  7. Youtube channel Lindsay Holiday has playlists of Halloween songs from the 1920’s and 1930’s. Some really funny ones, like “The Haunted House.” Also a Halloween version of “Minnie the Moocher,” which is just slower and a bit more obviously suggestive. (“Howdy ho”? Seriously, dude? Gonna have some airplay problems today….)

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