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Titles From A Parallel World

So, since we’re all a little busy with end of the year and (trust me) crazy stuff, I turned younger son and his timo-streamo-thingy-magic loose and he got some titles of members of MGC from a parallel world.  Some of this make perfect sense with the people we know and love.  Others, not so much.  For instance, I’m fairly sure mine comes from a world in which I took that post-grad thing at Brown instead of getting married.

Anyway, I thought I’d give you a few of these, and then you can come up with parallel world titles for your very own and other writers….

shave-legs

This one either comes from a very strange world, or our very own Pam Uphoff is out Chucktingling Chuck Tingle, over there.

cowboy

And all I can say about this one is … WHAT?  And also, maybe “I’m so glad he met Barbs in this world!

sharks

Another one that’s… UH?

police

This one I could almost see.  Almost…

child

Cedar, this is fiction, right? RIGHT?

pixie

This I KNOW is fiction.

space

And this… Kate, are you all right?

bastards

THIS one however, is probably just a sidestep

alien

As for this one… Brad, when are you writing it?

fishing

And now I’m going to er… run before my colleagues see this.
If you need me, I’ll be in my bunker.

98 Comments
  1. Christopher M. Chupik #

    As to #2: It was very lonely out there on the frontier, you know? And some of those mail-order bride services were really sketchy.

    December 30, 2016
    • Oh cr@p, I’ve got this short-story idea of an inter-species marriage that both parties agree to just to get the h-ll out of bad situations and it ends up working as a sort of brother-sister partnership. Come on, Muse, do NOT do this to me right now!

      December 30, 2016
  2. OUTSTANDING!

    December 30, 2016
  3. If you put them in the launcher, the right way, they almost never land on their heads.

    December 30, 2016
  4. Draven #

    lolol

    December 30, 2016
  5. Synova #

    Several of those I’d like to see. In particular, though, the inter planetary supermax…

    December 30, 2016
  6. Kate Paulk #

    Just because my subconscious has a hotline to Evil Bastard Central. Sheesh!

    December 30, 2016
  7. Christopher M. Chupik #

    Alternate title for #3: “If You Were a Sharknado, My Love”.

    December 30, 2016
    • Alternate for #4: Magictopia.

      December 30, 2016
      • Why yes, I DID watch Zootopia recently.. Why do you ask?

        December 30, 2016
  8. Hah😀 now I may have to write that story.

    Also, I adore the cover for Brad’s title!

    December 30, 2016
    • I think this is funny, because when you were a baby, I thought you were rather elfin or pixie-ish! (You learned to walk at about nine months, and were NOT the typical fat little baby!)

      December 30, 2016
      • And now I mourn the loss of my slenderness… LOL

        December 30, 2016
        • As I mourn the loss of mine, LOL!

          December 30, 2016
    • Yes, Yes, Yes! You definitely have to write that story! Maybe we can get some publisher to throw money at you.

      December 30, 2016
  9. Dave Pascoe’s would sell like hot-cakes, given the success of _Go the *%$! to Sleep_. And, well . . . http://www.thepassivevoice.com/2016/12/in-2017-publishing-really-needs-a-blockbuster/

    December 30, 2016
    • *laughing* It’s true though. I still remember pleading with the eldest and eldest son to sleep on the nights of teething.

      December 30, 2016
  10. Bwahahahaha! No. I refuse to go there. I do _not_ have a dino fetish. My interest in dinosaurs is strictly academic.

    December 30, 2016
    • sniffle. This means I’m alone in my dino fetish…

      December 30, 2016
      • Although . . . hmmm, a feminist decides she needs to experience real life misogyny, possibly even actual abuse, to truly qualify as one of society’s victims. So she hunts down a desperate bachelor–OMG!!!1!! A real COWBOY!!!!! With actual Moo cows!!!!!–on line and gets engaged.

        Her future Mother-in-Law is not amused. And being a witch, transforms that little gold-digger into a dinosaur halfway through the wedding . . .

        December 30, 2016
        • writeitwriteitwriteitwriteitwriteitwriteit

          December 30, 2016
          • The besotten cowboy so irks his Mummy that he winds up a dinosaur as well, and the eat the BLM bureaucrats, er, thugs that are destroying the watering holes he and his Dad and Granddad built with such effort over the century they’ve held the leases.

            The mainstream media refuses to report on the dinosaur tracks and sightings, but alternate communication channels brings a flood of tourists to the area and Mummy gets rich running a dino dude ranch, having turned all the horses into small triceratops.

            December 30, 2016
        • I keep trying to think that one into a LadyHawke knock-off.

          December 30, 2016
          • Except the horse gets eaten.

            December 30, 2016
            • Of course, because she turns into a Raptor.

              December 30, 2016
        • Terry Sanders #

          Write! It! Write! It! Write! It!

          January 1, 2017
        • Terry Sanders #

          And it’s an improvement. From a looks standpoint, anyway.

          (How desperate was that cowboy?)

          January 1, 2017
          • It gets MIGHTY lonely in the mountains of Montana…

            January 1, 2017
      • Christopher M. Chupik #

        Chuck Tingle’s sales figures say otherwise.

        December 30, 2016
        • Okay, so there has to be a steamy Dino sex scene? What’s that you say? HOW many!!!! Okay, I’ll give it a try.

          December 30, 2016
          • Paul (Drak Bibliophile) Howard #

            Sex between a dino and a Martian Lizard???? 😈

            December 30, 2016
            • I think not. And maybe a pen name . . .

              December 30, 2016
      • Seriously, if you want Fetish Dinos, Furry Fandom will give you a lifetime supply. I only wish I was joking.

        December 30, 2016
  11. You know, I have this vague memory of Dave snippeting something about wooden ships in space. From Atlantis, or some such.

    December 30, 2016
    • Kate Paulk #

      Oh, yes. One of his many delights that traditional publishing wouldn’t touch with a ten foot barge pole, more’s the pity.

      December 30, 2016
    • There’s a YA steampunk novel with wooden ships in space (conveniently ignoring the lack of air out there, LOL!). I read it several months ago and can’t remember the title or the author, but it was actually a good story!

      December 30, 2016
      • If anyone is interested, look for Arabella of Mars. It must have been in KU when I read it, though. I don’t pay that much for fiction!

        December 30, 2016
        • Or I found it at the library….I have a memory like Swiss cheese, LOL!

          December 30, 2016
          • …I have a memory like Swiss cheese.

            You mean I have a long lost sister? 🙂

            December 30, 2016
    • Uncle Lar #

      Didn’t Leo Frankowski write a novel about wooden sailing starships. With a co-author as I recall, just cannot remember all the details. It did somehow properly account for the atmosphere.

      December 30, 2016
      • BobtheRegisterredFool #

        Dave Grossman. There was a second book, then I think they tapered off. Two-space.

        December 30, 2016
      • John Farmer #

        And there is always ‘King David’s Spaceship’ by Dr. Pournelle.

        January 2, 2017
    • Randy Wilde #

      There was an RPG in the late 80s called Space:1889. I thought it was interesting.

      December 31, 2016
      • Terry Sanders #

        Which started out as a boardgame called SKY GALLEONS OF MARS. The name alone was worth it…

        January 1, 2017
  12. Hunting Guy #

    What? Nothing for Larry?

    December 30, 2016
    • I was late, and all I DID was MGC members. If I went into “friends and family” I’d still be making covers.

      December 30, 2016
      • “Overcoming Shyness with Modern Interpretive Dance” by Larry Correia and John Ringo

        December 30, 2016
        • snelson134 #

          Oh, John Ringo, NO!

          December 30, 2016
        • Well, I guess we know who the new Buckley is going to be now. But if you put holsters on the tu-tu when you make the cover, Larry might just let it pass.

          December 30, 2016
          • Free Range Oyster #

            Gun kata ballet?

            *runs off to google that*

            December 30, 2016
  13. May all of our muses descend upon your head, Sarah, and make you write these instead of us. Sheesh, you know what Myrtle the Muse is like. Did you have to throw down the gauntlet?

    December 30, 2016
  14. Free Range Oyster #

    I’d buy about half of those without even a blurb.

    December 30, 2016
    • possibly including my feminist musings, if written right now…

      December 30, 2016
      • “If you were a woman, my love, you’d shave your legs, not your head.”

        December 30, 2016
      • I would; and then laugh myself into hysterics all the way through.

        December 30, 2016
      • emily61 #

        Didn’t you write a story where an alien and a human got together. The punchline was: I can’t see you as a feminist!

        December 31, 2016
        • emily61 #

          Disregard my message.

          December 31, 2016
        • I haven’t, but I wrote one where a human and a robot got together. 😀

          December 31, 2016
          • Sam L. #

            I presume Prof. Reynolds liked that story!

            December 31, 2016
    • Sam L. #

      I’d buy every one!

      December 31, 2016
  15. Robin Munn #

    On a similar vein, I have a book-titles game that I think the Odds at Mad Genius Club would very much enjoy. You mash up two real book titles together via some rule (the one I know is “last word of first title blends into first word of second title”, but other title-mashup rules might be possible as well), and then describe the book. For example:

    A Southern gentleman, who just happens to be a Toad, fights to save his ancestral home during the American Civil War… in GONE WITH THE WIND IN THE WILLOWS.

    A young Irish boy and an escaped slave take a completely incomprehensible raft journey down the Mississippi… in HUCKLEBERRY FINNEGAN’S WAKE.

    Okay, over to you all. I’m looking forward to seeing what other title mashups you can come up with.

    December 30, 2016
    • Three impoverished daughters use logic and emotion to argue for their independence from their tyrannical and grasping half brother in COMMON SENSE AND SENSIBILITY.

      December 30, 2016
    • I don’t know how to describe it, but I’d bet a lot of cosplayers would be interested in the HARPER’S BAZAAR OF PERN.

      December 30, 2016
    • Kate Paulk #

      Oh God, you had to, didn’t you?

      Three lost animals roam the Discworld searching for their humans and accidentally prevent the apocalypse in THE LIGHT FANTASTIC JOURNEY

      Eccentric Australian creatures and a talking pudding cause havoc in THE COLOR OF THE MAGIC PUDDING

      A dying wizard’s mistake has horrible consequences in EQUAL RITES OF PASSAGE

      When elves meet forbidden love… LORDS AND LADIES OF MISSALONGHI

      CARPE JUGULUM CAUSAE – Catholic doctrine goes vampiric.

      Stop me now….

      December 30, 2016
      • BobtheRegisterredFool #

        HOGFATHER OF THE BRIDE

        December 30, 2016
    • Terry Sanders #

      I know some costumers who have done that sort of thing as themed costume set pieces for convention contests. One year, as I recall, they did JANE AUSTEN CITY LIMITS.

      December 30, 2016
    • BobtheRegisterredFool #

      The description is a little too politically offensive for here, but AN IRON DREAM FROM MY FATHER.

      A small European country invades America for reconstruction money, but what’s with the time loop and murders in WHEN THE MICE CRY?

      When Dorothy Seaton visits Academic City… A CERTAIN SKYLARK OF SPACE.

      ARGONAUTICA LUNA Endymion son of Aeson is sent on a journey to the moon by his wicked uncle Pelias.

      NURATO Quarter youkai ninja and the power of friendship.

      TEITOMON: Being the story of the monsters Yasunori Kato summoned to destroy the Imperial Capital, and the children who train them.

      THE TOKYO RAVEN: Quoth the Onmyou: Nevermore!

      FULL STRAWBERRY PANIC: The romance between a girl raised by Soviet wetwork wolves and the girl with a special power she is supposed to guard. (Apologies to deviantart’s klin)

      COILING DRAGON BALL: Linley’s father is poor, and his mother has disappeared. He sets out to pursue strength. Little does he realize the ultimate result of his rivalry with his new friend, Son Goku.

      December 30, 2016
    • BobtheRegisterredFool #

      How about movie titles?

      HELLSONG OF THE SOUTH: Maybe the antebellum South really was better before the Nazi vampires showed up. (‘Everything sucks now’ is too good a punch line for just this.)

      December 30, 2016
      • Gone With The Blood is better for this.

        December 30, 2016
      • Mashup with Abe Lincoln Vampire Hunter?

        This imaginary movie needs lots of Samuel L. Jackson.

        December 30, 2016
      • Randy Wilde #

        In a world where the American colony cash crop was not tobacco… REEFER MADNESS OF KING GEORGE

        Their music could turn normal teenagers into an undead horde… the Beatles star in A HARD DAY’S NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD

        December 31, 2016
  16. freakin’ awesome

    December 30, 2016
  17. Massively clever, if a tad bit silly. However, The Wooden Spaceship is iirc a real novel.

    Happy New Year! to all.

    December 30, 2016
    • Two good books IIRC George. However totally unrelated to my wooden spaceships 🙂

      December 30, 2016
  18. Amusing. Though I now I am curious and a bit worried at what might come up or after should I ever write something.

    December 30, 2016
    • “Where’s the Beef?” An Exploration of Vegetarianism

      December 31, 2016
  19. BobtheRegisterredFool #

    As someone involved in the interdimensional book trade, I can tell you that some pretty strange things have happened. There’s a place where Supreme Court Justice Kratman is finishing the Valdemar books. They are excellent. Wen Spencer’s Game of Thrones books are quite fast paced. Then there is the version of 1633 that Flint wrote with Bill Buckley and Crane Brinton. There’s even a timeline where Jordon’s Wheel of Time books were absurdly popular, got extended excessively, and had to be finished by Brandon Sanderson. But that place doesn’t have Don Q. E. Howard.

    December 30, 2016
  20. Seriously, I will echo: when will Brad write that?

    December 30, 2016
  21. Adding to the title list: A Chemist’s Guide to Dealing with Bullies

    December 30, 2016
    • Ooh… I would SO have read that one when I was in school!

      December 30, 2016
      • OTOH anyone who’s getting their lunch stolen and has a garden could probably make someone regret it rather easily. (Stinging nettles, anyone?)

        December 30, 2016
        • Actually, I was just thinking – a lot of harmless fun could be had with such a person by putting a layer of turmeric under the cheese on one’s sandwich.

          A yellow tongue could be the source of much amusement.

          December 30, 2016
          • Holly #

            I found ghost pepper jack cheese at Winco. My husband loves spicey. Pretty sure most people would find it objectionable judging from the other nine family member’s total refusal to consume.

            December 30, 2016
          • A lot of harmless pranking could be had, yes indeed.

            December 31, 2016
    • Oooh.. ideas.. nasty, evil, very very illegal ideas.
      And not all explosive, either.

      December 30, 2016
    • Ah, yes… that one would be fun, wouldn’t it?

      December 31, 2016
  22. Too funny! 🙂 Happy New Year to you and yours Sarah!

    December 30, 2016
  23. karllembke #

    “A Guide to Loving Sharks. It’s a cookbook!”

    December 31, 2016
  24. Basara549 #

    “Finding Inner Peace Through Kurdish Interpretive Dance”, by Tom Kratman

    December 31, 2016
  25. This has been one of the more fun posts for the comments alone.

    January 1, 2017

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