Titles From A Parallel World

So, since we’re all a little busy with end of the year and (trust me) crazy stuff, I turned younger son and his timo-streamo-thingy-magic loose and he got some titles of members of MGC from a parallel world.  Some of this make perfect sense with the people we know and love.  Others, not so much.  For instance, I’m fairly sure mine comes from a world in which I took that post-grad thing at Brown instead of getting married.

Anyway, I thought I’d give you a few of these, and then you can come up with parallel world titles for your very own and other writers….

shave-legs

This one either comes from a very strange world, or our very own Pam Uphoff is out Chucktingling Chuck Tingle, over there.

cowboy

And all I can say about this one is … WHAT?  And also, maybe “I’m so glad he met Barbs in this world!

sharks

Another one that’s… UH?

police

This one I could almost see.  Almost…

child

Cedar, this is fiction, right? RIGHT?

pixie

This I KNOW is fiction.

space

And this… Kate, are you all right?

bastards

THIS one however, is probably just a sidestep

alien

As for this one… Brad, when are you writing it?

fishing

And now I’m going to er… run before my colleagues see this.
If you need me, I’ll be in my bunker.

98 comments

  1. As to #2: It was very lonely out there on the frontier, you know? And some of those mail-order bride services were really sketchy.

    1. Oh cr@p, I’ve got this short-story idea of an inter-species marriage that both parties agree to just to get the h-ll out of bad situations and it ends up working as a sort of brother-sister partnership. Come on, Muse, do NOT do this to me right now!

    1. I think this is funny, because when you were a baby, I thought you were rather elfin or pixie-ish! (You learned to walk at about nine months, and were NOT the typical fat little baby!)

      1. Although . . . hmmm, a feminist decides she needs to experience real life misogyny, possibly even actual abuse, to truly qualify as one of society’s victims. So she hunts down a desperate bachelor–OMG!!!1!! A real COWBOY!!!!! With actual Moo cows!!!!!–on line and gets engaged.

        Her future Mother-in-Law is not amused. And being a witch, transforms that little gold-digger into a dinosaur halfway through the wedding . . .

          1. The besotten cowboy so irks his Mummy that he winds up a dinosaur as well, and the eat the BLM bureaucrats, er, thugs that are destroying the watering holes he and his Dad and Granddad built with such effort over the century they’ve held the leases.

            The mainstream media refuses to report on the dinosaur tracks and sightings, but alternate communication channels brings a flood of tourists to the area and Mummy gets rich running a dino dude ranch, having turned all the horses into small triceratops.

        1. And it’s an improvement. From a looks standpoint, anyway.

          (How desperate was that cowboy?)

    1. Oh, yes. One of his many delights that traditional publishing wouldn’t touch with a ten foot barge pole, more’s the pity.

    2. There’s a YA steampunk novel with wooden ships in space (conveniently ignoring the lack of air out there, LOL!). I read it several months ago and can’t remember the title or the author, but it was actually a good story!

    3. Didn’t Leo Frankowski write a novel about wooden sailing starships. With a co-author as I recall, just cannot remember all the details. It did somehow properly account for the atmosphere.

      1. Dave Grossman. There was a second book, then I think they tapered off. Two-space.

      1. Which started out as a boardgame called SKY GALLEONS OF MARS. The name alone was worth it…

        1. Well, I guess we know who the new Buckley is going to be now. But if you put holsters on the tu-tu when you make the cover, Larry might just let it pass.

  2. May all of our muses descend upon your head, Sarah, and make you write these instead of us. Sheesh, you know what Myrtle the Muse is like. Did you have to throw down the gauntlet?

      1. Didn’t you write a story where an alien and a human got together. The punchline was: I can’t see you as a feminist!

  3. On a similar vein, I have a book-titles game that I think the Odds at Mad Genius Club would very much enjoy. You mash up two real book titles together via some rule (the one I know is “last word of first title blends into first word of second title”, but other title-mashup rules might be possible as well), and then describe the book. For example:

    A Southern gentleman, who just happens to be a Toad, fights to save his ancestral home during the American Civil War… in GONE WITH THE WIND IN THE WILLOWS.

    A young Irish boy and an escaped slave take a completely incomprehensible raft journey down the Mississippi… in HUCKLEBERRY FINNEGAN’S WAKE.

    Okay, over to you all. I’m looking forward to seeing what other title mashups you can come up with.

    1. Three impoverished daughters use logic and emotion to argue for their independence from their tyrannical and grasping half brother in COMMON SENSE AND SENSIBILITY.

    2. Oh God, you had to, didn’t you?

      Three lost animals roam the Discworld searching for their humans and accidentally prevent the apocalypse in THE LIGHT FANTASTIC JOURNEY

      Eccentric Australian creatures and a talking pudding cause havoc in THE COLOR OF THE MAGIC PUDDING

      A dying wizard’s mistake has horrible consequences in EQUAL RITES OF PASSAGE

      When elves meet forbidden love… LORDS AND LADIES OF MISSALONGHI

      CARPE JUGULUM CAUSAE – Catholic doctrine goes vampiric.

      Stop me now….

    3. I know some costumers who have done that sort of thing as themed costume set pieces for convention contests. One year, as I recall, they did JANE AUSTEN CITY LIMITS.

    4. The description is a little too politically offensive for here, but AN IRON DREAM FROM MY FATHER.

      A small European country invades America for reconstruction money, but what’s with the time loop and murders in WHEN THE MICE CRY?

      When Dorothy Seaton visits Academic City… A CERTAIN SKYLARK OF SPACE.

      ARGONAUTICA LUNA Endymion son of Aeson is sent on a journey to the moon by his wicked uncle Pelias.

      NURATO Quarter youkai ninja and the power of friendship.

      TEITOMON: Being the story of the monsters Yasunori Kato summoned to destroy the Imperial Capital, and the children who train them.

      THE TOKYO RAVEN: Quoth the Onmyou: Nevermore!

      FULL STRAWBERRY PANIC: The romance between a girl raised by Soviet wetwork wolves and the girl with a special power she is supposed to guard. (Apologies to deviantart’s klin)

      COILING DRAGON BALL: Linley’s father is poor, and his mother has disappeared. He sets out to pursue strength. Little does he realize the ultimate result of his rivalry with his new friend, Son Goku.

    5. How about movie titles?

      HELLSONG OF THE SOUTH: Maybe the antebellum South really was better before the Nazi vampires showed up. (‘Everything sucks now’ is too good a punch line for just this.)

      1. In a world where the American colony cash crop was not tobacco… REEFER MADNESS OF KING GEORGE

        Their music could turn normal teenagers into an undead horde… the Beatles star in A HARD DAY’S NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD

  4. As someone involved in the interdimensional book trade, I can tell you that some pretty strange things have happened. There’s a place where Supreme Court Justice Kratman is finishing the Valdemar books. They are excellent. Wen Spencer’s Game of Thrones books are quite fast paced. Then there is the version of 1633 that Flint wrote with Bill Buckley and Crane Brinton. There’s even a timeline where Jordon’s Wheel of Time books were absurdly popular, got extended excessively, and had to be finished by Brandon Sanderson. But that place doesn’t have Don Q. E. Howard.

        1. Actually, I was just thinking – a lot of harmless fun could be had with such a person by putting a layer of turmeric under the cheese on one’s sandwich.

          A yellow tongue could be the source of much amusement.

          1. I found ghost pepper jack cheese at Winco. My husband loves spicey. Pretty sure most people would find it objectionable judging from the other nine family member’s total refusal to consume.

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