X keeps spitting up new ‘jewels’ of writing advice, and the latest to catch my eye in the last week was a real tosher’s cache. I was informed that unless I had college training to ‘create’ art or writing — I shouldn’t be doing either. The writer didn’t QUITE get to including the ‘be allowed’ – but plainly considered herself one the chosen who would demand to see your publishing permit, and check that you were properly credentialed for this.
Hmm. There seems to be a certain subset of humans who, for the sake of truth in advertising, should all change their names to “Thou Shalt NOT”. I have to wonder about the genetic strategy of the species throwing up (projectile style) so many people who seem to revel in creating and enforcing labyrinthine rules, so they can say “You can’t do that,” like stuck records. The only valid possibility I see for their conduct being evolutionarily favored is that, strangely enough the rules always seem to favor them or not apply to them.
Why is this worth mentioning? My ratiocinations on the subject lead me to suspect that this is the logical extension of the ‘stay in your lane’ ‘regulation’ they’ve been trying to push — you know “You can’t write black/gay/female/etc characters. You aren’t one. How can you possibly do it right? There should be law and even if there isn’t one we’ll persecute for breaking it.” You know, I always thought that the most terrifying, dangerous and awful words were: “We’re from the guvmint, we’re here to he’p you.” But I am beginning to suspect “There ought to be a law about that!” might be worthy competitor.
The next line might well be ‘you’re not qualified to write that.’
Given that colleges largely seem to have become places of anything but diversity of thought, method and viewpoint, and the moment you let the word ‘teaching’ intrude on ‘reading’ there seems to be a concerted effort to make sure the wicked word ‘enjoy’ does not sully the affair, can you imagine the output?
So: here is my take. Evolution is really an endless succession of billions experiments… which almost all fail. Except every now and again because there are so very, very, many variants being tried, some succeed beyond the wildest expectations (and then the process repeats – down millions upon millions of lines) Anything that standardizes it to one line, one experimental pattern, is certain complete extinction. This is as true for writing as species. Yes, most books (experiments) will fail. Yes, sticking closer to working pattern will improve your chances. But standardizing it to one line, one experiment pattern is certain complete extinction.
Mad Genius Club 
22 responses to “You’re not qualified to do that!”
You need to be trained for this by the guys who know what they’re doing . . . Me- “You know, I’ve done this particular batch probably 50 times before coming here?” and proceed to watch them violate chemical hygiene . . . “What do you mean we shouldn’t put the lance in the Phosphoric Acid solution then without doing anything else, stick in it the Caustic Soda 50% solution?”
Had a surveying prof who told a story about when he was a newbie out in the field. His supervisor couldn’t get any of his locates to match the map and was bitchin’ at the other surveyors about gettin’ their poop-in-a-scoop and redoing the whole job if they had to. “The only location on here I know is right is that one (points a few yards away), because I did that one.”
The only one that was wrong was his.
i need to borrow Sarah’s shocked face again
I think she’s missing the eyes though
rolled right out
Last I saw, Indy, Muse, and Circe have them and are playing soccer
That which I don’t like is forbidden. That which I like is mandatory.
Doesn’t seem like a very useful strategy for doing much of anything
“We’re from the government …”
“There ought to be a law …”
“Don’t worry! We’ll get it right this time” when applied to politics and economic systems (aka Communism).
It’s nice to have some background in something, just so you don’t kill yourself or others (chemistry, physics, biology, aviation, civil engineering), but if you don’t write that story, who will? A brave soul once asked an activist who was pontificating about “unless you are a [blank] you can’t write history about [blank],” “Can you name one [blank] historian?” Much spluttering and excuse making ensued, and mutters about “[Blanks] don’t want their history abused and publicized, or they would have written it by now.”
*Eyeroll of epic proportions here*
I haven’t read the book that gave the word– I believe it’s CS Lewis– but the “making rules” thing may be a warping on par with Bulverism, which is where you tell someone how they came to be so wrong without actually bothering to show that they are in fact wrong.
So, if the assumption is “nobody will be trying to make rules unless they have a Really Good Reason,” then the cancerous mutation is “make rules because.” Hacking the “Hey, don’t go over there!” “Oh yeah, you’re not the boss of me!” :goes over there, is eaten by sabertooth hamsters:
I believe the unsaid portion of “You can’t do that” is the statement “I’m locking the door behind me because you and your competition will destroy my pitiful efforts.”
Didn’t that British wanker that got a 10,000 pound grant to write a novel — and after 15 years has yet to write the first word — have some sort of literary degree?
I suspect we may all be better off for the British government more-or-less paying him not to write…
The one who clashed with Larry Correia?
I do recall something about Larry not being a Real Writer.
I mean, he’s only published a dozen best-selling novels, gained legions of fans, built a Mountain Lair with the proceeds — but he lacks the Credentials! Therefore, some git with a degree, that has never put Word One on paper, is a Real Writer, and Larry is not.
“I was informed that unless I had college training to ‘create’ art or writing — I shouldn’t be doing either.”
I have not one but two university degrees. They don’t help much, to be honest.
I had a place I was considering submitting a story to that had a place on their form for “giving a short biography to explain why you’re the right person to tell this story.” I was tempted to answer, “Because it’s my f#$%$! story, you $@%@! I made it up, I created the characters, and, unless I choose to give it to a ghostwriter, the only person writing it will be me!”
I didn’t. I’ve figured out that submitting stories is not a branch of missionary work where you convince the editors that they’re taste is wrong and yours is right. But I didn’t submit the story either. The pay was good, but there is a level of BS up with which I will not put, and if their primary interest was in knowing how their authors were oppressed, they probably wouldn’t have chosen me anyway.
In my experience, there is a moderately good inverse correlation between the amount of university education and commercial success as a fiction writer. Moreover, there seems to be a very strong inverse correlation between commercial success as a fiction writer and the degree of university “training” in creative writing, literature, etc.
That makes sense and runs true enough to my experience. The downside as scientist is having to remember that your audience doesn’t always know what you do, or use the same terms.
Well, since there was another nuclear genius last week saying that authors shouldn’t be paid, perhaps this idjit is doing the “uneducated” a favor by discouraging them from working for free. Just a thought.
The supply of idiotum seems almost infinite
“Only two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity. And I’m not sure about the universe.” — Einstein
Grumpy old man over here- F ’em… Nobody died and made them God.
A long time ago, I figured out that all the writers who I really, really like reading – had done something else before sitting down before a typewriter (or an inkpot and pen) and scribbling a ripping good yarn. A few had been reporters for various newspapers – but most had done something else – practically anything else for a living. JRR Tolkein was practically the only exception to this understanding – and even he had spent some years as a soldier in WWI. Having done something, other than vegetate away in a university, teaching literature or creative writing, lends a certain depth to an author’s works. If anything, knowing that so-and-so, the latest hot writer has done nothing much other than hang around a university’s Humanities department, makes me run a mile from their book.
And as I recall Tolkein had spent most of his academic life trying to recover the pre-Cromwell purge myths and legends, hadn’t he?
I don’t get the impression he was in academia for the prestige and blovicating. I expect most modern ivy leagues would find him intolerable, and I would be unsurprised if he didn’t annoy his contemporary academics to no end either.