Empty as a pocket… I had to do a live radio interview today, and I found this rather worse than presenting my oral defense of my dissertation. At least I knew my subject matter and had a reasonable idea of what they might ask, then. The interviewer was pleasant, had some idea of the book material, and I honestly can’t remember a great deal of what he asked or I said: I assume I didn’t make an idiot of myself, because you tend to remember that quite clearly. Still, it left me feeling utterly drained. Like a lot of authors… I’m an introvert, who observes people, and mixes with them in very small doses. I’d rather hear them talk about themselves (which could well find its way into my writing) than talk about myself. If and when I talk about myself, it’s in writing, with a nice, safe distance between myself and people. I do not fear taking on hell with a fire-bucket, but talking to crowd is more scary to me than shark infested water.
I like to blame it on sensory overload, in my case. I am a throwback, I think, a hunter, very inclined to pick up on even the smallest peripheral sounds and movements, and crowds are just too many people moving and talking. I feel pummeled by too much input, unable to filter it sufficiently.
The reality, however, is that no small part of making a success out of writing is… not just writing, peacefully in some happy isolated spot and observing people in small, measured doses. I won’t say having an ebullient extrovert personality is a job requirement for being a successful writer, despite the fact that a huge amount of the work is done in isolation – but it is certainly a large part of some very successful writers armory. It can’t turn a sow’s ear into a silk purse -but it can make a fairly ordinary book do well, and good book do far better than an equally good book from the introvert who avoids all human contact.
Back when I started all this, I had the naive idea that publishers handled all of this for you. Perhaps they do, if your book gets a million-dollar advance – but even that is more likely if you have a large public following. The truth is: for most of us, you’re on your own, and some degree of public interaction – be it through social media, or cons or speaking to a lot of people whose faces you can’t see (so you have to guess at their reactions) it probably is as much job requirement as a good story-telling skills – and is in fact part of the same skill set. You just don’t LIKE it as much.
I’ve had to cope for years. It’s never going to be easy for me. But I have evolved a series of techniques, which help me, anyway.
Firstly, it is just story-telling. People love stories or authors would never have existed. It requires some self-deception – but you’re telling a story… not answering a question or making a speech or (shudder – my worst) selling a product. The questions we get asked are usually within a narrow band of topics. Have some idea of the ‘plot’ of the story you’ll tell.
Secondly: most of us are response orientated. Therefore choose your person in the audience to get responses from. Speak to them. Then you’re speaking to one person, not the crowd – unless you;re the kind of person who can play a crowd.
Thirdly: Put on a persona. You invent characters – invent a confident calm easy-speaking fellow for yourself. Play the part. It’s a role, as much as wearing a Darth Vader outfit is. Hell, if that’ll help use some props like that.
Fourthly: if possible, have friends in the crowd. Find them, and address them. They’ll feed-back to you, and that is key. And most of us can cope with small group of friends. Just fool yourself the others aren’t there.
Fifthly: Keep it short. Few of us can play a part for a long time. A few minutes… sure. And then seek refuge, either alone or with the number you cope happily with.
There are, I am sure, many other techniques. Perhaps if you have a similar issue, you’d like to share? I could use the help.
Mad Genius Club 
10 responses to “Far from the madding crowd”
This may or may not help, but I always dress for the part. Maybe it’s a color combination, a special shirt, a piece of jewelry, or something that you can set aside for “when I wear THIS, I am in public-speaker mode.” It helps me focus a little – like dressing in a jacket and tie even on a Zoom or GoogleMeets call. (Granted, most of the time I wear Odd clothes, so for me its the colors rather than the particular outfit.)
Different personalities, different reactions. My social reactions were set by 5th grade, when I switched schools and found new classmates repelled by my enthusiasm for educational topics and reading speed. Having never engaged much interest from my parents, I built the casing that served me well from pre-adolescence onward, making a conscious choice that embracing social solitude was preferable to allowing any vulnerability to be intimidated by calls to conformity. (Loneliness was better than wimping out, which would have been unacceptably cowardly. Stubbornness as a virtue…)
If I had been born later, the model of “female nerd” would already have been available as a shorthand and this wouldn’t have been quite so… pioneering… I did have some friends (indifference to rules-breaking is an adolescent social value) but no one to partner with over educational delights (dead languages, trad literature, computers entering the general culture, math, history, industry, etc.) I was lucky to find a marital intellectual/personality partner in college, and count that 55 years (so far) to be one of my best achievements.
As a consequence, I don’t find speaking in front of a crowd all that intimidating. By now, I’ve built & run small tech businesses, gone some distance in crafts/art (music, photography) and (last decade or so) written novels. I’ve been the first X in a number of minor things. I have plenty of general interest war stories from “the good old days”. My original family & school background was adequately on the fringes of elite and politics, and so that sphere doesn’t generate any special respect from me. (Nothing like growing up with those (often dysfunctional and incompetent) families to take the gilding off those lilies.)
In a forum like this one, where we all share some of the same professional concerns and the psychological analysis that comes with that on its own as well as character-analysis-for-use, I am delighted to have a social community. (Thank you all very much!)
A crowd of strangers in person doesn’t scare me. I don’t care what they think, beyond a point, and so I use a mix of enthusiasm for professional questions (never enough of those) and self-deprecating humor for personal ones. Rudeness from the audience might raise an eyebrow, but it doesn’t shiver my timbers. And I don’t really draw my fictional characters from real life, much. Reactions — yes. But motivations, not so much. I have more fun treating them as an intellectual puzzle: what would they have to be like to react this way, and why would they be like that, rather than basing them on real world individuals.
Since many readers are also introverts you have given us good advice on how to people. Thank you.
Thirdly: Put on a persona. You invent characters – invent a confident calm easy-speaking fellow for yourself. Play the part. It’s a role, as much as wearing a Darth Vader outfit is. Hell, if that’ll help use some props like that.
I’ve heard, at least (take with the usual grain of salt), that the guitarist Buckethead wears his trademark costume for precisely this reason: the man behind it is very shy and has a hard time performing–but the Buckethead character can get out there and perform no problem.
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Though part of the issue isn’t just performing when you get those opportunities, it’s the question of how to you manufacture those opportunities in the first place. I feel I could do okay on a radio interview, but no radio station is particularly interested in interviewing me. I haven’t the slightest idea how to convince them that they do want to interview me–and I have the suspicion that, if I were to figure it out, it would be something far more terrifying than merely giving a speech.
When I was a high school senior, I got stabbed in the cafeteria My attacker was trying to do a buddy a favor. I won the fight and sent him to prison so I figured it was all good, even though I ended up in the hospital for a week. Plus it’s amazing how many really good-looking girls are attracted to a guy who wins a knife fight bare-handed. I went from nerd to stud overnight. (And got some insight as to why jocks and BMOC are so full of themselves. Retrospectively I am glad it only lasted one semester. But what a semester it was.)
I’m an introvert, a mild one, but I still get peopled out early. Before the fight I got nervous speaking to a large crowd. The first time I had to do some public speaking after the fight, looked out at the crowd and thought, “no one’s going to come out of the crowd with a knife, so what’s the worst that can happen?” Suddenly I wasn’t nervous or uncomfortable – and never have been since.
I am not sure I can recommend it as a technique for mastering stage fright, though.
Adopting a persona for public appearances works great. That’s not you chatting up total strangers for hours. That’s your avatar while you’re huddled under the table sucking your thumb.
I taught Bill (my dear husband) how to do this and he had some stage experience!
Wear a costume suitable for your books and ONLY wear it for events, whether your YouTube interview (which I just did) or your book launch or your table at the book festival.
Devise a script or patter for each title, one for yourself, and one for series.
You may get tired of repeating the same thing over and over, but it’s new to your audience.
I’d developed scripts without knowing it and then Bill codified the idea.
If you already know what to say when someone stops by your table — even if it’s only directions to the nearest bathroom — you’re way ahead of the author sitting next to you who refuses to look up from their phone lest someone notice them.
Salesmanship can be learned.
For what it’s worth: I’m so introverted a cloistered monk would say I need to get out more. But I have little trouble with public speaking IF I’m giving some sort of presentation, I know the material I’m talking about, and I’m reasonably sure I’m in control of what’s going on. If those things are not true, forget it.
speech problems can complicate things
I’ve done a few interviews now, and my main problem is not being able to control or anticipate what comes out of my mouth. I tend toward aimless rambling when nervous, particularly when I stumble into a topic I know I shouldn’t talk about.
The little voice in my head says, “Whoops, better change the subject, this isn’t why we’re here, back to books” or “You probably mispronounced that name, don’t say it again,” and my mouth hears “continue” and “find an excuse to say it again.” That whole thing where trying not to think about something makes it the only thing you can think about.
As the interviews progress, my stress progresses because I can actively hear myself messing it up, and am powerless to stop me. I think I need more redirection and guidance than the average podcast interviewer can offer.
My most comfortable interview so far was with Offer Kuban (new to the interviewing world, but very cool), as he has the previous author-guest pick the next author-guest and has them cohost the next podcast. So I was on the podcast with an author I knew, whose books I’ve read and who has read my book, and who I already have some rapport with. This author also has a lot of personality, so he picked up a lot of slack in the interview and generally took the pressure off me.
So basically, my advice is to get a social support extrovert and bring them with you to all public speaking events.
Short of that, I’m developing a list of “can’t go wrong” topics to divert my stream of word vomit toward when things go wrong. To my surprise, people enjoy when I talk about raccoons, and I have a good handful of irl raccoon stories, raccoon book character tidbits, and raccoon facts from doing book character research. I don’t think people are thrilled to hear me talk about my overly serious main character and give infodumps on the plot. They want to be entertained, and raccoons are entertaining. Sometime in the past few years, the world has started to recognize the critters for how cool they are vs just classifying them as pests.
Oh, yes – definitely the ‘persona’ and a suitable costume to go with it. (With me, it’s my Victorian/Edwardian costumes.) I had years of experience being a radio DJ, and being “on’ – being that witty, charming, engaging person… it came easily, and still comes easily to me, but it is exhausting to carry on for much longer than three or four hours at a time.