“Whoreson Achitophel,” grumbled the fat ‘rat’ poking listlessly at a pile of garbage with a long, blue-suede shoe covered foot.
The wino lying on the other side of the alley did not wonder just what he’d just drunk. He just lay very still. He’d met ‘rats’ before. Been in combat against the Alien ‘magh with the cyber-uplifted Siamese cat sized killers. They were that, red-toothed killers. Mostly, they only killed because they were hungry… but they were starving every four hours. And then they’d eat anything, even their fellow rats and think nothing of chowing down a legless ex-soldier with PTS and the shakes too.
Mind you, he’d never seen a rat in white jumpsuit splattered with rhinestones, open to the paunchy waist. That didn’t go with their language download into the chip that gave them intelligence. Mostly they liked suitably Shakespearean huge Cod-pieces, if they bothered with clothing. Maybe that had been really bad grog after all.
And just when that comforting thought took hold it was shattered by the flutter of batwings. Long white fangs gleamed against the evil black folds of the huge bat’s face. It said: “Begorrah, Fal, you useless Spalpeen. Oi’ve searched half the pubs in town for you. Ariel wants to make you an offer you can’t be refusin’.”
The wino knew for certain then that it was no cruel illusion caused by something benign like toxic booze, but the real thing. And while life hadn’t really seemed worth living an hour ago, overhearing too much would get him killed. He wasn’t ready to go just yet. At least not this sober. In that, he was just like one of the rats.
“Alack-a-day-dee,” said rat mournfully. “I sip no sup and crave no crumb, for I sigh for the love of a laydee. Only methinks it was she who sighed… well, more a ‘wheee!’ than a sigh, before she slipped from my arms and spiraled up, off into the night.’
The bat was plainly more confused than the wino. “Hwhat is it that you’d be be tellin’ me, fat Fal? I was after tellin’ Ariel wanted you.”
“It is all of a piece to me, O’Niel. I’ve lost her.”
“Who?”
“My inflatable ratess.”
—-
Which is brings me around to the topic I was going to talk about tonight: Ongoing series.
A few of you may recognize the characters and setting from the piece above – they’re from RATS BATS AND VATS Universe.
It’s a very complex Universe involving cyber-uplifted animals and several alien species and cultures. The Rat and Bat Dialogue is taken from Shakespeare, Gilbert and Sullivan operettas (Rats), Irish folk music and wobbly songs (Bats) I’ve been asked, as RBV is essentially a Humorous-but-MilitarySF story deriving in part the military aspects from WW1 – and we approach 100 years since that started to write a short story in that universe for Conclave 2 – which happens on Anzac day weekend.
The problem of course is that to those who know the books, the above piece makes a lot of sense. Hopefully makes want to read further… The rest of you may think I need to be sectioned. Small sections… But how do you advocate doing this?
Come: let us conspire.
Mad Genius Club 
19 responses to “Iniquity and a pomander containing ambergris”
Only small sections if you means snippetses, here. Otherwise, we’d like you intact, and writing more! RBV is one of my favorite universes, and I’d really like you to continue. (you can’t hold out a bowl for a book and say ‘please sir, might I have more? because a bowl is a terrible container for a book, and besides, calling a certain monkey sir might get you coconutted)
No, but you can hold out your Kindle — which I’m doing 😉
Perfect! Yes, me too… shiny tablet needs filling.
I’ll grant p’Terry a ‘Sir’. I’m a common monkey I am.
Dave, one of my favourite series. Will you be writing more book length entries?
The idea is to write a short which will be the basis for a final Harmony and Reason book. I have always wanted to turn the original ‘genie out of the Vat’ into a full novel giving the history of some of the other major characters. That probably won’t happen.
The war then continues in space, picking up in Crawlspace – I was planning on growing that into a series of detective stories which actually hid the novel – with the story underneath all of that, but now I think i might make Crawlspace an offshoot, and just write a novel set in that universe.
Hmmm . . . interesting. Let me start by saying that I’m not sure how to say what I want to say. Confused yet? Me too.
RBV came out some years ago (2000 and 2004, IIRC, with a short story in 2005). Those who read them at the time will remember them (who could forget them?), but we’ve probably lost the ‘continuity thread’. We’d have to re-read the earlier books if we were to get the full benefit of a follow-up volume. On the other hand, many will not have read (or even heard of) the earlier books, so if a sequel were to make extensive use of them as a foundation, that would be lost on those who didn’t know them.
I can see two ways to go here. One is to mount a major publicity campaign, re-launching the earlier RBV books in conjunction with promoting a sequel. However, if you’re privately publishing the sequel, Baen might not want to co-brand their books with an author-published volume. You’d have to talk to Toni about that, and to Eric, of course. (Do you have the right to write about/in the RBV universe without their prior authorization?)
The second way would be to re-start the RBV universe with a completely new book, which doesn’t build on the earlier volumes but begins a new story arc in the same universe. (Again, this presumes you have the rights to write in that universe without involving Eric and/or Baen.) This might alienate (you should pardon the expression) readers of the earlier books, but equally they might enjoy a new beginning; and it would give you the freedom to incorporate developments and new angles that you’ve thought about since the first volumes came out.
I’m honestly not sure which choice would be better. However, whichever way you go, I’ll buy the book(s), and promote them for you on my blog.
In closing, I vote for a pale puce rat quoting Marlowe’s Faustus. After all, Shakespeare is so 2000’s!
😉
Peter, to Baen’s credit I haven’t parted with any rights for either Eric, or myself (either singly or in concert) to write more in that Universe. Out of courtesy I’d tell Eric and we might negotiate something. By the same token I’d offer to Baen, but it’s relatively unlikely I’d accept anything less than I could earn myself, and it’s very unlikely they’d offer that much. In theory – barring reprint, their rights (which depend on available in print, not as an e-book) are nearing the end (it’s 12 years or still in print) for the two books and are dead for the Novella. Really, without me doing another book (Eric hasn’t the time, and the return on it is smaller than the 1632 series stuff) the paper sales won’t justify that. It’s really not practical to have 2 authors being paid by Amazon/Smashwords etc, so soon I will have to do some serious thinking and talking with Eric about what we’ll do with the rights when they revert.
I really don’t see a relaunch from Baen. There wasn’t one in the first place ;-/ – it was just tossed out to fly by itself, and did rather well. There’s a sort of catch 22 both ways with this (less so for the publisher) Unless I do another book, sales of the paper version will slowly decline into irrelevance, go OOP and we will be able to request reversion. They can of course reprint regardless of sales, and retain the rights… but then there is not much impetus for me to write another book. For me it’s a difference of -based on AMW and THE FORLORN – of 15-20 x the income I was getting via webscriptions (I am still waiting for the kindle sales figures and money – as is normal with publishing that’s IIRC about 15 months from when they started being sold – I think it was about November 2012, certainly early 2013). So: despite the fact that a new Rats Bats and Vats novel would sell well, right now, writing one would be bad for me. It’s annoying, because I want to write it, but I will just have to wait a little longer – then, yes, I’d love help in a relaunch.
Ummm… just do it. That’s how. Build your short into something that will translate into a novel and then sell both so I can buy them. I’m thinking that’s not what you really meant, but it’s all good. I just want a new book.
heh, it’ll happen 🙂
I must confess, I haven’t read rats and bats and vats. The snippet above threw me a little: rats that talk I can accept, and bats, but the two dialects on top of that made a steep learning curve. That said, by the time I got to ‘inflatable ratess’, I did giggle and want to read more.
It’s very, very funny. And a very good story as well.
The accents ARE a problem – and a plus (because they define who is speaking and the attitudes they have (very nice, lazy characterization :-)). Unfortunately they’re very much a part of the fundamental premise of the books (that language shapes our nature, and that nature shapes our language). And of course to those who know and love the source material, I’ve been told that picking out the bits – and mis-interpretations- of the originals is very entertaining. Try it, you may well like it 🙂
I wonder what the magazine market for RBV style is like? Conclave looks like a good spot to start spreading your snares for new fans.
I hope so. I get to see a bit more of New Zealand anyway.
My son happened to walk through when I was reading this… said he really liked the two books in the series I got him and would love to read more.
When done, I will send you a copy for him.
Offhand, I think what you’ve done with the wino works pretty well. He’s the “butler and maid talking,” the “guard at the front gate,” and several other small characters who have passed on essential setting and situation information for us readers or audience folks to catch up. Might have him shudder at the bat, and recognize the Irish brogue, a bit more clearly (that “knew for certain” needs a mite more explanation). But I think it sets the stage for the rats and bats to do their dance. Question is whether or not the wino is going to survive this little eavesdropping scene. Given it’s a short story, you don’t have a lot of space to play around with setting the stage, so this works well.
You could always have a kid who wants to know what is going on? That’s a well-worn way to provide the readers with the information they need, too. Not sure where a kid would fit into the story, but…
Some short stories have a very short academic/wikipedia/newspaper clipping as a stage-setter. E.g. “After the defeat of the ‘magh by cyber-enhanced Rats and Bats, the Conclave of Civilized Beings faced the problem of what to do with the now unemployed troops. The solution chosen, to turn them into entertainers scattered across the Conclave planets, was not without problems, however. From Disco Rats and Bats, A Historic Perspective by Anony Mouse.”
Nah, stick with the wino. Bottoms up!
🙂 Thank you for picking up on the ‘show don’t tell’ – I probably will include a short prologue about the setting.