*Several of you have asked me to put up some of the older posts one day of the week. Well, I’m not sure about making it a feature, but this week… Let’s say I’m still not ready to start the shared world novel. It’s not the legalities, we’re all very simple people, it’s that I spent most of the night with a cat lamenting outside my door and I’m the walking dead. I could maybe add a chapter to an existing oeuvre but no way in heck can I start a novel. So be kind and accept this blast from the past — a post from May of 2011 on worldbuilding.*
>What I like in a good author is not what he says, but what he whispers. ~Logan Pearsall Smith, “All Trivia,” Afterthoughts, 1931
I’ll confess that much as I would like to sound incredibly erudite, I’d never heard of Logan Pearsall Smith until I read this quote. Having read it, I’m of two minds about it.
The reason I’m of two minds about it is that I have a tendency to “whisper” in writing, something that I’m sure will surprise a lot of people who have met me in person (i.e. who’ve been exposed to the woman who needs not microphones) as well as a lot of people who have read me – in person or not. But what you see in my books is not always what comes naturally. Naturally, I have a tendency to elide a lot of the emotion and what I would call “the embarrassing stuff.” My style of narrating is to assume the reader already knows a lot of this and it doesn’t need to be emphasized. That, as I’ve learned, is wrong. There is such a thing, yes, as keeping a stiff upper lip, and it is very important in a human, but not always in a writer. Since readers read for the emotion, the stiff upper lip undercuts the power of the writing.
On the other hand, there is a way of whispering in writing – there are the things not said, but which come across just fine. This is a higher type of writing, and one that I frankly don’t know if I can do. I try, but it’s hard to judge, with your own work, whether you landed perfectly or fell on your face. Only the reader can tell.
This type of whispering is subtle and haunting. It’s the little things about the character and the world that remain in your mind, sometimes years later, the little things that aren’t always stated, but that you return to, are sure of, wish were written about.
Entire websites full of stories echo with Jane Austen’s whisperings, particularly in Pride and Prejudice. “Did other people know what they were feeling better than they did? When did he realize he loved her?” Etc. The same goes for Georgette Heyer. Most of the sexual tension in her romances is never even mentioned. Take Venitia, one of my very favorites – they joke, they recite poetry, they make repartee sometimes on risque subjects, but there’s no kissing, no fondling, nothing beyond an embrace and that at the end. However, the sexual tension is scorching. How much more powerful does it make the book than the modern romances which tell me what went where and how many times, sometimes with shocking anatomical improbability? Then there is Heinlein. Take The Moon Is A Harsh Mistress. Nowhere does the main character tell us he’s fallen in love with Wyoming Knott. Except it’s in everything he says about her, and how he says it, so when she marries into the family and ends up in his bed before the trip to Earth, it’s expected. It’s been whispered throughout the book, even though explicitly they’ve done nothing more than flirt. And there’s Pratchett. Most of the romances, like in Making Money and the relationship between Sam Vimes and his wife. But more than that, there are hints about Nobby Nobs that you honestly don’t want to think too deeply about.
But it is those whispers, those less-brightly-illuminated scenes that give the book the feel of roundness, of completeness. Look, if you walk down a well lighted street, you expect to pass boarded up stores, and others that are dark and alleys that you only see the opening to. If those are truncated, not there, you know the street is a fake, a Hollywood scene made of painted boards with nothing behind it. At the same time, if al those side avenues are brightly illuminated, you get dazzled, stop paying attention to where you’re going, and get lost in a side street. Or, to make the metaphor more consistent – if you hear only one loud, clear voice, you feel like there is no one there, just perhaps an electronic simulation of a human voice. As – in TMIAHM – Heinlein noted, behind a real human voice there are other sounds. Breathing. Adjusting yourself in the chair. A door slamming somewhere.
We don’t consciously hear them, but they are there, and they convince us this person is real. Of course, in the same way, you don’t want them to be so loud they drown out the voice.
You see the point and the dilemma? It’s something I’m trying to learn, as I said, but I’m not sure if I can, except by studying those who’ve done it well and learning to imitate. And you? Do you know who does it well? Do I even explain what I mean clearly enough for you to understand?
I hope I do. I want to catch your attention, and I hope I’m learning to whisper.
Crossposted at According To Hoyt



2 responses to “Blast from the past — Learning to whisper”
I … think so. Tangential, but it’s along the line of a thing a friend said upon reading a thing I wrote (the second of those shorts I sent you, actually). He’d actually lived in NYC and spent significant time in Chicago, while I’ve spent about a week total in both places, and never lived in a large, urban center. It read as though the character was moving through more-or-less empty space. Which fits with my experience, since I could walk down the main street of the hamlet I grew up in and see a handful of people not in automobiles. Still can: it’s gotten worse since I left. The story didn’t read as though my protagonist swam in the ever-present noise and crush of the Big Apple, and for a native New Yorker, that felt off. So, learning to write in the bits the camera doesn’t see is going to be important, and that’s not even about human (AI, other sophonts, free-willed spiritual entities, what have you) relationships.
Just contemplating. Hum… Try this exercise.
First, write yourself a bit of action/dialogue. Something simple, perhaps two characters talking about what to do next, maybe a revelation by one to the other, or even just meeting for the first time. Or the two good buddies getting back together after a time apart? Whatever you like.
Second, set this in different locales. Starbucks? A shopping mall food court. A good restaurant? A diner? A bar? Middle of a movie theater, performance, or whatever? On the north rim of the Grand Canyon? Whatever you like, but try setting this action/dialogue in at least five different locations. Remember that you want to whisper the locale to us, not shout it out.
Third, of course, you might want to twiddle the characters, or even adjust the timing/pace/events. Twiddle the characters? What kind of adjustments might you make in the melody?
Actually, you might want to try varying the volume. Go ahead and shout it out, then try a normal conversational pitch, and then turn it down and whisper. Or go the other way?
Call it an exercise in whispering locations. Listen to the roar of the surf, the gentle cacophony of the cicadas, the buzz…