Need a Laugh? Governmentium (Gv) has been Discovered!

I am hip-deep in my first draft of Sorcerer at the moment – the third Jakirian book. The first in the series is Calvanni (you can see the cover to the left). The second book in the series is Scytheman. Both coming will be coming soon in print.

In the mean time here is something I came across last week sure to be enjoyed by all you geeks out there!

The heaviest element yet known to  science has been discovered.

The new element is  Governmentium (Gv). It has one neutron, 25 assistant  neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving  it an atomic mass of 312.

These  312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are  surrounded by vast quantities of lefton-like particles called  peons.
Since  Governmentium has no electrons or protons, it is inert. However, it  can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes  into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction  normally taking less than a second to take from four days to four  years to complete.

Governmentium  has a normal half-life of 2- 6 years. It does not decay but instead  undergoes a reorganisation in which a portion of the assistant  neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In  fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since  each reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming  isodopes.

This  characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe  that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical  concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical  morass.

When  catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element  that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as  many peons but twice as many morons.  All of the money is consumed  in the exchange, and no other byproducts are produced.


  1. I needed that laugh this morning… Thank you!

    We head to closing in just on half an hour and I’m about as relaxed as a long tailed cat in a rocking chair factory.

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