Or something, anyway. Because while I was trying to decide what to write about for today’s post, there was a positive wealth of stupidity on offer, along with several sides of glitter, the delightful news that all of us here are “fascists” according to the League of the Perpetually Butthurt as embodied by one Damien Walter (I pity the poor fellow’s parents – I mean, really. They name him Damien, expecting to get, you know, the Antichrist, and instead they get this poor useless wimp who presumably farts glitter and cries when anyone suggests that he might, maybe not be perfect. It’s enough to make any self-respecting Satanist give up and convert to Christianity) and his sidekick (oh, wait, that’s not right, he’s male, she’s female, in that world she must be the heroine (and damn did I ever want to leave of that ‘e’ because you’d swear that’s what she’s on)) Cora B-something who despite being from what used to be East Germany and being female appears to have the world’s biggest hard-on for communist everything.
Maybe her family was higher up the food chain than the average East German and she misses the good life the good loyal Party officials got?
Anyway, dear Cora nominated the entire Mad Genius Club to Damien-lite as the big “fascists” of the genre, along with such heinous creatures as Tom Kratman, Larry Correia, Vox Day (whatever you think of him, if there’s a Glittery Hoo Haa making a list of the most evil people in SFF, Vox will be on that list – and I would not object to his sales figures, thank you very much), and of course our very own Sarah Hoyt. Who gets on the list twice because of that. Once as herself, and once with the rest of us – which is perfectly acceptable because she is the Beautiful but Evil Space Princess of the Evil League of Evil (and speaking as a charter member of the Evil League of Evil – oh, yes I am, and I have the badge to prove it! – I can assure you that Sarah is indeed a magnificently Beautiful but Evil Space Princess of the Evil League of Evil (as well as the only Beautiful but Evil Space Princess of the Evil League of Evil )).
But what does it mean, you ask. Well, no, you don’t, because you know damn well I’m going to tell you anyway. Aside from the dedicated campaign by the Social Justice Warriors of the Sacred Glittery Hoo Haa to render words like “fascist” and “racist” and practically anything else “-ist” meaningless by applying it to anything and everything they dislike, it means that most wonderful of things, free publicity. Free publicity, folks. Those who contribute to Tom’s and Larry’s and all’s sales numbers will see my name with theirs and some of them will think, “This Kate Paulk chick must be okay, if these people hate her that much.” and some of those will buy and the money will come rolling in, right?
Okay, that part of my evil plan of world domination hasn’t quite materialized yet, but it’s early days.
So, how does it feel being a “fascist”?
I have to say it doesn’t feel any different than normal. I haven’t had any cravings to make the Italian trains run on time or take over any industries on behalf of the Italian government. I’m certainly no more evil than usual, although it is possible that I hit some kind of evil event horizon a while back and simply can’t get more evil.
Do let me know if any of you find yourself experiencing strange urges to do with world domination – oh, wait, scratch that. We already have those – nationalizing everything and making it look like they’re working better than ever before, getting your evil minions those spiffy 1930s uniforms (and in my case getting a higher class of evil minion to pour into said spiffy uniform because let’s face it cats and fancy uniforms do not make good partners), and surrounding yourself with beautiful hangers on of your preferred sex and orientation (er… hang on… this is supposed to be bad?)
So that’s one set of stupid. Others have done a better job with the Hatchette hatchet job attempt on Amazon (and damn, unless they’re aiming for authors and readers they’re really doing a shitty job of it). I’m inclined to suspect the latest analysis of Amazon sales figures is the real reason Hatchette is trying to chop Amazon off at the knees. The fact that they’re having difficulty reaching the ankles is another issue altogether.
Take note, folks, in Romance and SFF, indies are eating the Big However Many It Is These Days lunch. And their breakfast and dinner as well. While giving them the finger and smiling sweetly.
In other genres indies are matching the Big Wankers or somewhere in that general vicinity, so yeah, the dinosaurs are running… er… lumbering scared. They don’t have anything close to a lock on what people can see or buy any more, and that means they’re losing the ability to tell people what to think.
Except they never really managed that anyway. Nobody did. Even when you catch them early and infest them you won’t get them all, particularly the cussed independents like us. When there’s no way to control everything people see and hear and experience, there’s no way anyone is going to control what they think.
Yes. That does mean we’re winning. We’re hearing the screams of panic and outrage as the Titanic goes under (they didn’t head for the lifeboats because the Big Publishing Titanic couldn’t possibly sink, so it must have been a drill or something), and ah, such sweet music it makes.
I might almost miss the screams when they finally sink. Almost.