Tag Archives: Poetry

Mad Haiku for Books

I stole this, cackling gleefully, from a friend of my First Reader (and made a new friend in the process, Hi Jonathan!) and the denizens of the book of face have been playing with it. I thought it would be even more fun to challenge all of you and sundry to play along. it’s writing, sort of. But it’s more a way to make you stop and think about words. Poetry is hard, but have fun with it.

So… here’s the thing – write a haiku about your favorite book. I’m not sure, reading the thread of the original challenge, if the point is to stump ’em all, or to be guessable. You decide!

Oh, and if you want answers? Highlight the space beside each haiku’s writer, and you’ll magically see the book’s title.

British spy decides
To fight an occult war for
Control of the djinn

-Misha Burnett (Tim Powers’ Declare)

Alien probe arrives
We travel to learn about them
Three armed they were

-Christopher MacArthur (Larry Niven’s Mote in God’s Eye)

You can’t be crazy
Wanting to leave makes you sane
Fly safely, Captain

-Kacey Ezell (Joseph Heller’s Catch 22) 

I live on the moon
Mike will help me get it done
I want to be free

-Spike Souders (Robert Heinlein’s Moon is a Harsh Mistress)

Got me a nice raft
Float down the Mississippi
With my best friend Jim.

-Pat Patterson (Mark Twain’s Huckleberry Finn)

God’s redemption plan
From Old Testament through New
One answer – Jesus Christ

– Nancy Guyotte (The Bible) 

A desert highway
Gonzo American dream
Nothing is the same

-Roger Ross (Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Hunter S Thompson)

orphaned space child
founds new religion
martyrdom

– Alan Couture (Robert Heinlein, Stranger in a Strange Land) 

one ring is found
a journey begins
the world changes

-Alan Couture (JRR Tolkein, Hobbit) 

A Small Lord
Tries to Become a Bigger Man
Ends an Interstellar Mercenary

-Christopher MacArthur (Lois McMaster Bujold, Warrior’s Apprentice) 

One bad decision
A lifetime running from guilt
Ends as a tuan.

– D Jason Fleming (Conrad’s Lord Jim)

Could I reach orbit
Then I’d be a wanted fan
Leslie has my back.

-Pat Patterson (Niven and Pournelle’s Fallen Angels)

The trunk ate someone
Tourists are quite odd fellows
Falling off the edge

-Joseph Capdepon (Terry Pratchett, The Color of Magic or any Rincewind book)

The hero travels
The sword is jumped
He wishes to hero again

-Sanford Begley (Robert Heinlein’s Glory Road) 

Galactic Patrol
Brings the Winter of Boskone
Cleave Through to Helmuth

-Owen KC Stephens (EE ‘Doc’ Smith, the Lensman)

Literal flat earth
Narrative casualty
Drives the parody

-Kurt Schneider (Terry Pratchett, any Discworld novel) 

I can’t wait to see what the readers here come up with!

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Filed under CEDAR SANDERSON, WRITING: CRAFT

Good Eve

Cedar’s disclaimer: I am not a poet. This is strictly for fun, and should not be considered a serious attempt at poesy. 

Disclaimer the second: I blame the Evil Muse for this. 

 

Twas the day before Christmas, and all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, not even my spouse.

I sat at the keyboard, fingers poised in the air,

Waiting and wondering if my muse would be there.

 

The teens were all quiet with earphones on heads,

The pre-teen was napping  with dog in their beds;

And the spouse was all settled with Kindle in hand,

so I could finally write my book’s last stand.

 

When out in the drive arose such a clamour,

I sprang from my desk to see who had the hammer.

I swore to myself as I ran to the door,

Wond’ring how my family such a noise could ignore.

 

I grasped the doorknob and felt it melt away

At my touch, revealing a landscape so gray

My eyes strained to make out any detail at all.

Slowly, I could see something through the mist, so small

 

And then it was there in front of me, so quick

I jumped back and knew it wasn’t St. Nick.

It must be my muse! Finally, he had come

And I whistled, and shouted, and offered him rum.

 

He was riding in a convertible sleigh, jet-powered

And when he landed in front of me it towered

Over me and the door hissed out on hydraulics

Making me rub my eyes and wonder about alcoholics.

 

He was dressed in a space suit, a chrome one that made me gulp

And I opened my mouth to point out I wasn’t writing pulp,

But he laid his finger alongside his nose with a wink,

And I shut my mouth again and wished for a drink.

 

His eyes – full of starlight and empty as the universe – twinkled brightly

The cheeks were pale, the lips turned up tightly.

The helmet concealed any sign of a beard,

Overall, I decided, my muse was quite weird.

 

He held a bag in one hand, and now that he’s down,

He held up the other, and opened it with a frown.

From it he pulled, with a shake and a wiggle,

Something like an anemone that just made me giggle.

 

He looked up at me, and gave me a shake of his head

Before putting it back, then pulling an envelope out instead.

Without a word, just a wink of his eye,

He handed it to me, and leaped back to the sky.

 

I stood there, gaping, and ere he was out of sight

I heard him call out: To all a good night!

I looked at the card in my hand and unsealed,

Opening it slowly to my eyes it revealed…

 

The plot to my novel! I sprang back to my desk,

My husband, befuddled; my teens, statuesque.

My fingers were flying, and I shouted ‘Thank you!’

As Christmas was coming and my muse had come through.

 

Now that that’s out of my system… I have a question for you, gentle readers. As the New Year is approaching, what would you like to see more of here at the Mad Genius Club? Any how-to’s you are in need of? Tips, tricks, and ideas? Let us know in the comments! And if you’re looking for a last-minute gift, remember, ebooks are easy to give, and don’t require a dedicated ebook reader, they can be read on a phone, or a tablet, or a computer, or… 

 

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Filed under CEDAR SANDERSON